My Progress!

Saturday, September 12, 2009

SSDD

You will soon see why I was too lazy to find a pic for today's blog. So I decided to introduce you to Matthew. Teresa joined me for a few cocktails in my happy place yesterday and insisted on TWO cabana boys. As long as she didn't have designs on mine, I said "have at it." Matthew is one of hers and, let me tell ya...he's a very nice addition to my happy place. If you ever want to join Teresa and I, grab a foo foo drink, a tiny string bikini and sexy cabana boy and join us!


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OMG, trust me...you do NOT want to know how this day went. I, once again, had started a post that was going to share some pics of my new hair, and then the Universe had to drop its pants and take a nice shiny dump on my day. The Universe seriously does NOT want me to show you how beautiful I am because every time I work up a post to share these pics with you, The Universe finds some new and interesting way to seriously make me regret being born. At that point, my hairdo just seems a bit...I don't know...beside the point? Don't worry, its nothing that a handful of xanax can't remedy.

I know I've sounded like a drug addict lush the last few posts...I promise you, I am not really a pill popper and "drinking" for me is like one beer. Trust me, I would LOVE to have another vice that didn't make my ass the size of manhattan, but no....My drug of choice is food, delicious food. Despite having another crapalicious day,I haven't had a drink tonight and BELIEVE ME...I need a damn drink ...or an entire cherry pie...either one would probably suffice.

Instead, I headed straight to bed after I got off work. We were supposed to go to a friends tonight for poker and good time, but about midway through my shift I had a conversation with my supervisor and while MOST of it went GREAT...at the very end, he had to dress me down AGAIN for missing a break.
{{{edited info used to be here}}}
I get off the phone with my supervisor just as Erik walks in the door to fax the paperwork to the lawyers. It is then that I realize I am going to have to disconnect my work phone to do it and since I'm working, I can't do that, but seeing as we have a meeting at 4PM we HAVE to get this info to them ASAP. Frustrated and seriously on the verge of grabbing a twinkie or a pistol to put in my mouth (I hadn't decided which), I tell him to go somewhere and fax it. F it, just get it done (and no, the "F" is not an abbreviation for "fax.")

Erik leaves, comes back and tells me that the fax wouldn't go through, but as he walks in, he finds me in tears and researching shore trips for someone's amazing 33 day Mexican cruise. Concerned, he sits down and lets me vent and yell and scream about all the pressure I'm under and how even going to do something fun tonight with friends is just more pressure to be somewhere and do something in the limited time I have. Poor Tanner must have heard me venting and comes in and all of a sudden becomes a "mini-me."

Tanner: Mom, whats wrong?
Erik: Nothing sweetie, mommy is just having a bad day and she's stressed out, its ok
Tanner: Mom, don't get so mad. Calm down, have you tried your breathing
(gee, this is deja vu, all of this sounds strangely familiar)
Me: Yes sweetie, I'm sorry, I'm not mad at daddy, Im just venting.
Tanner: Ok, well just calm down, you don't want to get mad and make a bad choice.
(oh, I see what is happening here. Apparently he has been listening everytime we try to talk him through a meltdown)
Erik: Mommy isn't mad really, it just helps to talk it out. I know for you, that isn't helpful, but for mommy it is.
Tanner: Ok, well try to not think about it right now ok mom?
Me: Ok Tanner, thanks sweetie.

How is it that children know the absolute PERFECT moment to parrot all your parenting back at you and why does it make you feel like such an idiot? Ahhhh, this kid God love him.

Hopefully you have made it this far, because here's a little good news for the day. I didn't use all this crap as an excuse to go off my diet. Today's weight loss is updated so take a look. It was the one thing that put a smile on my face today; that has to count for something!!.

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Friday, September 11, 2009

Breathe In......and Breathe Out...... (preferably in between sips of some really good Rum)


I was totally going to do a feel good post today. I had even started listing stuff I had to be thankful for, then my day began to unravel. I got a call 4 minutes before work was over that took about an hour to take care of. Meanwhile, I have dinner in the crockpot that needed some finishing touches; I had also planned to try mock mashed potatoes with it, but it was obvious that was not going to happen this time around. Needless to say, this phone call put me an hour behind schedule. Just as I was logging out of work, I get IM’d by someone regarding some scheduling drama that I won’t go into, but it was a rather stressful conversation that left me feeling as if some might have felt I was taking advantage of “the system” when I was just doing things the way I was told *sigh*.

I finally get past that, and move on to trying to scan this behemoth of a document to send to the lawyers and realize my printer only wants to cooperate ONE.MOTHERFREAKING.PAGE.AT.A.TIME. The document I’m trying to scan in is about 70 pgs long. Seeing as I’m not into self-torture, I decide to fax instead. While I’m coping with all this, I hear Tanner and Erik get home from a doctor’s appointment. Apparently Tanner is perseverating on downloading something for his xbox 360 so that he can play a regular xbox game (he got his games back today after earning them back) so of course he expects the world to come to a STOP while we fix it. Anyway, you get the picture. We finally figure out that we can’t get this game to work on the xbox 360 and erik heads downstairs to finish up dinner.

In the meantime, I heard back on the third job I applied for asking me to schedule some time I can be shadowed (work with someone watching me like a hawk) so I went ahead and scheduled about 20 hours next week. This is 20 in addition to the 40 at my main job and the 10 I work each night at my second job. I know it’s insane, but with lawyers to pay, I really don’t have a choice.

Then I come down to find that Erik has dumped an entire bag of egg noodles into MY low carb crock pot meal :( Somebody hold me…. In all fairness to him, his brain is just as scrambled as mine and he did go and meticulously pick out all the noodles in my serving, but ARRRRGGGH.

Breathe in…….Breathe out……..and go to my happy place. In case you were wondering, my happy place happens to be on the beach. I’m about 150 lbs in my happy place so I look Smokin’ HOT in a tiny little red bikini. My body is completely immune to the effects of gravity so my chi-chi’s are pert and happy to be kissed by the sun, Breathe in……….Breathe out……….I open my eyes, lowering my sunglasses a bit to look up into the beautiful eyes of Jeffrey Dean Morgan who happens to be moonlighting as my cabana boy, isn’t that nice of him? He brings me the tastiest foo foo drink he has and sits down beside me to massage my tense muscles and doesn’t even try to stop after the first 5 minutes! *sigh* It’s a very happy place.

I feel a little better, but it could have something to do with the xanax I took about an hour ago. On the upside…I lost another pound today so I’m down about 8 lbs since Monday? I stuck to my diet, but need to start working some walking into my schedule. That’s the next thing I’ll tackle.

As for what I’m thankful for; I’m thankful that we were lucky enough to find some pretty amazing educational lawyers several years ago and I’m thankful that they are going to do all this work for ONLY $300.00 (at least through the hearing on Monday). I’m thankful that I had some money tucked away; even though it was the bankruptcy money and this is the third time I’ve managed to save it up only to have to spend it on something else. At least we were able to hire the lawyers as I do not want to do this hearing on my own Monday.

I’m REALLY thankful that Erik just got home from the store with a HUGE bottle of Vodka and Rum! I’m making a low carb cheesecake with a low carb chocolate rum ganache for poker night tomorrow at the Ochoa’s. Apparently, they were having a sale at the liquor store and miracles of miracles, Erik picked out two liquors with 0 carb count. Woohoo, party at Chez V! Who am I kidding, we’ll probably have one drink and be in bed by 8PM.

I’m also thankful for the new Imogen Heap album that always seems to put a smile on my face when I listen to it; Particularly this song at the moment. This one is pretty good too. I’m also loving this song by Iron and Wine. I love music and I really love that a really great song can transform my mood; even if its only for 3 minutes 37 seconds. The effect usually lasts a bit longer afterwards. What are you guys listening to? What songs do you put on when you need a pick me up or need to escape for a few minutes?

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