I've dieted enough to know that as you lose weight, you start to notice things about yourself and your body as it begins to shed those unwanted pounds. Maybe its an elbow you haven't seen in quite a while. Perhaps its the fact that you can now bend down and tie your own shoes. Maybe you are just jazzed about seeing your feet when you look down. Men tend to get very excited when this happens (go ahead and check it out, I'll wait; his blog is hilarious)
In my 20's when I lost most of my weight, I remember rejoicing silently when I discovered that I could go up and down a flight of stairs without getting out of breath. I had not only lost weight, but had been working out a lot so my muscles were in prime condition. I had never considered myself athletic, so this was no small feat in my mind considering I used to avoid stairs like the plague. After that, I started tackling stairs at every opportunity; running up them most of the time until E noticed and made fun of me. I was a little embarrassed to admit the reason I was running up the stairs so I made up some stupid excuse. The real and very simple reason I ran up those stairs each time was because I COULD!
I expect that I will begin to rediscover myself as I shed more weight. I'm literally starting from scratch so I expect many "a-ha" moments in my future and I'm looking forward to them. My first moment came last night while brushing my teeth. You all know that I've lost 10 lbs and I think most people wouldn't expect 10 lbs to mean much on a 450 lb body; however, I'm here to tell you that it apparently does.
Last night I went through my nightly ritual before bed. It starts off with me dosing myself on the five or six medications I have to take each night. It's literally a handful of pills I have to take...good thing I don't have much of a gag reflex! Once I take my meds, I use the restroom, wash my hands and then brush my teeth. I have a chair in my bathroom. Initially I brought it in so that I could sit down while I did my hair. When I injured my knee, I had to start using it more often since it was harder for me to stand comfortably for long at all. Last night I was mentally going over my schedule for the next day; making sure I hadn't forgotten anything. I used the bathroom, washed my hands and then grabbed my toothbrush. I was still mulling over some things in my mind as I brushed my teeth. When I was done, I spit in the sink and as my hand reached for the holder to put my toothbrush away I realized that I was STILL STANDING! I felt this immediate WOW which was followed by a laugh as I considered how ridiculous it was to feel so excited about something so small. Part of my own mind was echoing E's laughter every time I ran up a flight of stairs. To him, it wasn't a big deal, but to me it was a milestone. I turned a deaf ear to the negative voice in my head, took one last look in the mirror and smiled. Some victories are going to be big and some are going to be small. To me, a victory is a victory and I'll take them any way they come!
