Whenever I start to get too big for my britches (speaking completely figuratively of course) or begin to think “Who YOU lookin’ at” when I look in the mirror, I can always count on my pedicurist/manicurist to knock me down the obligatory peg or two. Lucky for me, I subject myself to this ritual at least once a month, twice if I’m working hard.

Some of my longtime readers might remember this story, this one, and this one. As much as I truly do enjoy the place I go to get my nails done…they certainly have a very different way of expressing their opinions on my weight loss journey. Lucky for them, I have a sense of humor.

Last Friday, I scheduled a day of beauty maintenance which included a stop at Ann’s to get my nails done. I don’t know why they call it “Ann’s” because I don’t think anyone that works there is named “Ann.” The two women that work there go by “Micky” and “Ruby” but I’m pretty sure those weren’t their given names, just the names I think they chose so we wouldn’t constantly stumble over the names they were born with. I like going to this particular salon because they actually do seem interested in getting to know their customers even with a language barrier and they are really nice people. We talk about our kids and when they start talking to each other in their native language, I never worry that they are talking about how horrible my feet are or how fat my fingers are.

I was actually having a lot of conflicted emotions while I was there going back and forth in my head about this new guy I was seeing and wondering if I was doing the right thing. I was trying to put on a brave face, as if I didn’t have a care in the world, but inside I was growing more and more uneasy. We had a day planned together the next day and I was just starting to feel all this anxiety and well, you know the rest of the story. I made it through getting my nails done talking to a childhood friend, Belinda who stopped by to get her nails done around the same time. About the time my nails were done, Belinda left and I went over to get my pedicure.

Micky apparently hadn’t done my pedicure since I’d lost all this weight. She had a baby around the time I started going back and Ruby took over doing my nails. I sat down in the chair, looking forward to relaxing and enjoying the chair massage. Micky came over and pulled a foot out to start taking off the polish and smiled up at me and said, “You lose lot of weight!” Smiling in that “Oh P’shaw!” way I said “Oh yeah, that” *rolls eyes* “I’ve lost some since I saw you last I think.” *BIG SMILE acting like Scarlet O’Hara saying “What? this old thing?”* She takes my calf in her hand and says “Yeah! I remembah’ you come in first time and” *puffing her cheeks out to emphasize this next bit* “your leg was MUCH BIGGAH!” Trying not to spit out the sip of water I’d just taken, I smile awkwardly and say “Thank you???” Taking that as her queue to bestow more back handed compliments upon me, Micky gives me a bigger smile and said “Oh Yeah! Your leg much smallah’ now! Used to be BIG, MUCH BIGGER! You look bettah’ now!” Again, I take a deep breath, sigh, smile and say “Thank you :)”

So, if anybody is worried that some day I might get a big head as my body continues to shrink; FEAR NOT…the faithful employees at Ann’s will keep me well grounded!

Dehydration, Getting My Glam on, and Other Exciting Adventures this Weekend

Five days into the month and I’m already slacking. I’m hopeless I know, but honestly I had a busy weekend AND I think I let myself get dehydrated. I’ve had several days of dizziness and episodes where my vision blacks out when I stand up too fast. My doctor has removed the diuretic from my blood pressure medication, but I won’t get that RX for a week or so. I made an executive decision to stop my BP meds yesterday. I just got so bad Saturday that by 5pm I thought I might have to make a trip to the hospital. It wasn’t near as bad as right after the surgery, but I just couldn’t seem to get myself rehydrated. I spent the whole day sipping on stuff and didn’t pee once. I think I finally started urinating again after consuming about 75 oz of liquid. I felt better by the time I went to bed, but yesterday I noticed that I was dragging again by noon and when it was time to cook dinner, I was having dizzy spells again…ugh!

It is my own stupid fault though. I’ve been very busy with work (as always, my 5 jobs keep me busy lol), but for the first time since surgery I finally have a surplus in my bank account…(of course Thunder has decided to completely fall apart on us, so I’m taking him to the vet tomorrow which I’m sure will eat up the rest of the surplus I was hoping to sock away for a new car). So anyway, I’ve been so busy that I often forget to drink. If I don’t get something to drink first thing in the morning with my coffee, I will put it off until the afternoon. I’ll be working and just think “I’m going to finish this one thing and then I’ll run and get something” and before I know it, it is lunch time and all I’ve had is a cup of coffee. You do that several days in a row while you are on a diuretic and you can quickly get into trouble and then play hell trying to re-hydrate yourself. I feel much better this morning so I am hoping that I’m finally catching up.

NOW to tell you about my exciting and busy weekend! Friday I was off and had to go to the doctor. Erik had to go to work and since we only have the one car, I decided I’d just walk. My primary care doctor is about a half mile away. I was a little nervous about it because I haven’t been walking much the last few weeks. I was having TOM issues again this month and, as ridiculous as it sounds, walking seems to make it worse. After 8 days of bleeding, you just aren’t in the mood to do anything that is going to make it worse. My doctor is putting me on provera every month to try and manage this problem, so we’ll see if that improves…but I digress lol.

SO, I decided I’d just walk to my doctor. Erik ended up dropping me off so I just had the walk home. It actually went pretty well, it was a beautiful morning for a walk, but I was worried about being too leisurely about it and overestimating my ability to walk an extended period of time so I tried to walk somewhat quickly. After a few minutes my lungs were on fire! I sat down on a bus bench at my street (which is about half way) and checked my phone. Erik had texted twice checking on me so I answered him telling him I was halfway home and catching my “breaf” on the bench. I finally figured that the lung problem was probably due to:

1. Being dehydrated and
2. Breathing through my mouth. Apparently, when you breath through your mouth, you dry out the air sacs in your lungs which cause the burning.

I sat there for a few minutes and then walked the rest of the way home. I was pretty tired by the time I got home, but after sitting down for a few minutes, I was back to normal. Before, I would literally have to take 5-10 minutes to recover from a mild walk like that. So, even though I am pitifully weak given the amount of weight I’ve lost already, I am making progress. I just need to be more consistent with my exercise regardless of my womanly troubles.

I’m I boring the crap out of you yet?

So, after my doctor’s visit, I went with my friend Shannon and signed up to be an AVON representative again. At the moment, I’m trying to save money for a new car (used, but something that will at least get us by for the next few years…our echo is on its last leg) and I really want to get bikes for both Tanner and I. I have sold AVON off and on over the years and really love their products and I got to thinking that I could start selling AVON and put that money towards our bikes. Sooooo, yes….if you don’t mind taking a look at my website and need something I’m selling, it would be great if you could purchase through my site. Don’t worry, I’m not going to be pressuring anyone to support me (I’m not a fan of bloggers who put their Amazon wishlists on their blogs…tacky), but I may put a little click through link on the side of my blog. I may also review a few products here and there, but only if they are applicable to my blog in some way. If I start to get obnoxious about it, let me know lol!

I forgot to mention that I got into another shirt I never thought would look good on me (mine is red...it's my signature color)! What was cool was that I got dressed, after doing my makeup and hair that morning and walked in to see what Erik thought and he actually did a double take and said “Wow!” I guess the shirt really showed off the weight loss so I was lovin’ that! I felt so pretty all day long so after our consultation with AVON, Shannon ran me over to the nail salon where I treated myself to a pedicure and manicure. BTW, the first thing the guy that does my nails said was “You look different!” He redeemed himself with those three words!

While I was getting beautified, I texted Erik about going out to dinner with Tanner. I know I just said we are trying to save for the car and bikes, etc, but I hadn’t really done anything for myself since the surgery (hence the mani/pedi) and we hadn’t gone out as a family in ….forever. I was feeling beautiful and I wanted to share that beauty with the rest of San Antonio! So, they picked me up and we went to Red Lobster. Don’t ask me how we ended up there of all places (because my carb addict husband and son love their biscuits perhaps?). I indulged a bit and had a drink which was nice, but probably full of carbs and empty calories. Oh well, I was rehydrating! Yeah, I need my liquid nutrition! I ordered this lobster, shrimp combo so that I could share with Tanner. I think I had a stuffed mushroom, a couple bites of salad, two small shrimp, two bites of lobster and one larger grilled shrimp. I was STUFFED! Seriously, that is a binge for me.

We had so much fun though! It was nice to be out in public and not feel like I was the largest person there. I mean, I probably still WAS the largest person there, but I’m slowly starting to approach your average fat person where before I was definitely circus-sized.

I guess I’ll stop here since this post is already two pages long. I’ll tell you about the excitement of Saturday in tomorrow’s post!

HAIR!

I bet that title kind of scared you knowing my penchant for sharing topics that fall into the topic of TMDIH (too much damn information honey). Lucky for you, I decided that I'd double post today and share the pics of my last day at the salon. This was a few weeks ago, but I keep promising and not following through and i was feeling kinda guilty for the bitchfest that was my last post so here you go:

I think I look just like jennifer anniston in the next one don't you think so?



Then I have to turn around :P



Tada! It wasn't what I was really going for, but it could have turned out much worse. Anything was an improvement on the mop I walked into the salon with.

Gonna get my hair DID on Tuesday, help pick the style!

I figured that even if my body did rebel and I gained this week (we still have to see what the scale says tomorrow), I'm going to do the cyber equivalent of sticking my fingers in my ears, shutting my eyes and saying "lalalalalalalalalalala" and reward myself anyway. I've managed to eat MUCH healthier and get more exercise in the last three weeks than I have in over a year. I think that deserves a little pampering regardless of what my darn scale says. Personally, I think Satan had his finger on the scale...did you see how hard he was working on Friday to get me to give up on the swim workout?

I really need a haircut. The last one I had was back in December and I just learned that my favorite stylist moved to Florida without telling me :( Her name was Carrie and I'm going to miss her :( We had a lot in common, including a struggle with weight. I met her just a few weeks before she went in for gastric bypass and have watched her get slim and healthy. I used to be so self conscious when I would go to the salon...it was a very shi-shi poo-poo salan and most of the people that went there were socialite moms with cute little figures and I'm, well...pretty much the OPPOSITE. I always felt like I had to apologize for being there:

"uh, hi ladies...I know I don't belong here because I'm like...fat and stuff, but I'm kind of a snob when it comes to getting my hair 'did' so I hope you don't mind if I hang out for a few hours? You don't have to talk to me or anything civil like that, just pretend I'm not here."

Isn't it sad that we feel that way? Like we have to apologize to people for inflicting ourselves on them; for somehow coming into their field of vision for the day? It is probably more in our head...we feel awful about ourselves and the way we look and we kind of project that onto everyone else. I know there are people out there who get off on feeling superior around people like me, but for the most part, I don't think it bothers other people half as much as it bothers us. Anyway, I've digressed a bit. I loved going to see Carrie because she always made me feel welcome and worthy of pampering. This last Christmas, when I couldn't afford to get my hair done, she talked to her boss and let me come in and get the works (haircut, color, highlight, style) and only allowed me to pay her $10.00. Normally, this would have cost me between $150 and $200. She really was a sweetheart and now she's gone :( I'm hoping that I can at least stay in touch with her, but I've been leaving her messages and haven't heard back yet.

I really can't afford that sort of pampering anymore so I decided to call the nearest Aveda Institute. For what it used to cost me to get a haircut, I can basically get the works at this place. I realize I'm kind of compromising on quality, but I know I'm going to get a much better cut and color there than i would if I went to a regular salon that I can afford (smartcuts) at the moment. I'm going to be getting my color touched up (all over color with highlights and lowlights) and a cut. I've included a recent face pic of me with my shaggy mess along with some cuts I'm considering. I would LOVE it if you guys would help me choose one. If you find a cut somewhere else on the web that you want to suggest, feel free to comment below and leave a link.

Also, if you find a dye job you think I should request, leave a link to that as well. Typically I get a color close to my natural (kind of a light brown) with caramel-y highlights, etc. I used to be blonde (you saw the pics) but the last time I went blond it just really didn't suit me anymore. Staying closer to auburns or chestnut browns seems to bring out my eyes (hazel) more. I'll talley everything up and post new pics on Wednesday. Let's hope they don't butcher things!

Oh! I'll also be getting a pedicure. I decided that for my weigh-in's I'm going to start taking a picture of me on the scale (looking down at my feet) and since I don't want to scare everyone with my winter feet, I felt a pedicure was in order. Besides, it makes me happy to look at painted toenails, I don't know why. I don't have a foot fetish or anything, don't get me wrong (so all you guys googling super obese immobile women in fishnets with painted toenails can keep on a-googlin' still nothing to see here). I think I enjoy it because it makes me feel girly. It is hard to feel girly at 450 lbs and when I was thinner, I was very much a foo-foo girly girl. I loved getting my nails done, dressing nice and getting made up. I seem to do less and less of that the heavier I get. I guess I feel like putting paint on a pig (although I do think the pic above is kinda cute don't you?) doesn't necessarily make it look less like a pig. I'm trying to change that though because I think that how I feel about how I look certainly impacts my mood and overall motivation to persevere.

Ok, here are the pics I'm trying to choose between. The first one is me obviously (just didn't want you confusing me with jodie foster, martina mcbride or jennifer aniston). Comment below and let me know who I should be on Tuesday!

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