Seein' Doctors and Losing Weight

Note: I was going to try to find a funny little cartoon about going to the gynecologist and made the mistake of image googling "gynecologist" without the porn filter on :P Now I'm a little sick to my stomach. Hope you don't mind the blog sans funny cartoon!

Ok so last week, I spent a lot of time in doctor’s offices. I scheduled an appointment with my gyno’s nurse practitioner and learned that she was also a fellow bariatric patient. She had the RNY, but was interested to hear about the sleeve. I wasn’t sure if she was going to be able to do a pap that day although the medication she prescribed had pretty much stopped the bleeding I was experiencing. I think after talking to me a bit and noticing that it had been five years since my last pap, she figured she better strike while the iron was hot so she sent me off with my superman cape and told me to get nekkid.

I love the things they talk to you about while they are inserting the speculum and basically probing around in your privates: “So what do you do for a living?” “Are you from San Antonio?” “Do you live nearby?” All of these questions you are obligated to answer as if you were merely standing in line at the grocery counter and not spread eagled with lots of equipment and appendages in your hoo-ha. I did my best to answer her questions and when she complimented me on my “nice long cervix” I thanked her and told her that I got compliments on it all the time (I didn’t really, it was one of those things I thought of later and wished I had said). I mean seriously? Later when I told Erik what she had said I made some stupid joke about it being something he could brag to his friends about: “Yeah my wife may weigh a few hundred pounds, but MAN if you could see her cervix you’d understand!”

She seemed to think everything was ok, but wanted me to go for an ultrasound and since I’m 40, she wanted me to get in for a mammogram (BTW blogging buddies, Breast Cancer Awareness Month is coming up in October so go get yourself squished!).

I’ve had the ultrasound (which was SO uncomfortable….they always are…I’ll spare you the details for once) and heard back from my gyno. Apparently my uterine lining (which can build up in people with PCOS and put them at risk for endometrial cancer) was pretty thin so she isn’t sure whether they will need to put in an IUD (the NP had suggested it as a way to keep the lining from building up and I was all for it because it meant NO PERIOD YAY). My doctor was concerned that if we did an IUD it might actually cause break through bleeding since the lining was so thin to begin with. Anyway, we are going to wait and see how the next cycle goes before taking any action.

I have my mammogram this Saturday so fingers crossed there. I’ve had mammograms before so I know what to expect…a perky little cheerleader who is going to have to act as if my mammoth breastages are just as lovely as hers! Oh well, they will be SOME DAY! By the end of this week, I should be fairly thoroughly checked out.

I almost forgot, remember the cyst from hell? Yeah it is still giving me problems so I went in to see a dermatologist this time around. She lanced it and injected some steroids so hopefully it will go away already!

Hmm, what other repulsive medical information can I share with the masses and ensure my single status for the rest of my life? I think that’s about it guys sorry…my well of disgusting factual tidbits has run dry.

On the weight loss front, I am down to 366!! Today I was actually 367, but I think that is because I came back off my blood pressure meds. OH! I forgot to tell you…when I went to the gyno, my blood pressure was up a bit 130/100 :S She advised that I go back on my BP meds which I did for several days, but I felt pretty crappy the days I took it. Very similar to when I had to be hospitalized, but not nearly as bad. I just had NO energy, really tired almost to the point that talking at the end of the day would wear me out. Lately, I’m used to feeling super energized so I stopped them yesterday and I’m going to try to find some time to get into my regular doc to have my BP taken to see if maybe that one time was just a flukey thing.

Because of the lack of energy, I haven’t been getting on the treadmill the last few days, but I HAVE been doing a whole lot more around the house. My mom would die to know how much I am enjoying housework now that I can actually do it again. I think Erik is enjoying it too lol. I’ve also been trying out a lot of new recipes. We had a low carb version of salmon patties last night (I used almond flour instead of breadcrumbs and flour) and they turned out alright. I think I’m going to have to add something (lemon pepper and maybe squeeze a little lemon juice on them afterwards). They were just ok. I also tried this baked cauliflower which turned out fairly horrible. I don’t recommend it :P

As far as weight loss goes, I have posted a projected weight I want to be at for each month and I’m darn close to where I want to be by next Thursday which will be my 3-month mark since surgery. The goal weight is 359. I might be able to do that, but I’m going to have to step up the exercise for sure. Even if I don’t make it, just being this close is pretty awesome. I have figured that if I continue to lose the way I have been, I could be under 300 by the end of the year. We’ll have to wait and see though.

TMI: More than you ever wanted to know about my ass.

Hi all, I apologize for not posting in a few days. I actually found myself back at the doctor’s office this last week. I swear, I have never visited the doctor more often than I have this past year. Is my body trying to tell me something or what?

Warning: if you don’t care to have intimate knowledge of my ass or bowel movements, stop right here. The short story is I’ve had some bleeding issues, have seen a doctor and am monitoring the situation. If you want the long story, keep reading.

This time, and forgive me if this is TMI, I had to go back because I passed blood (for the second time) during a bowel movement. Lovely right? Each time its been about a quarter sized amount. This last time, I also passed more blood later that evening without even trying to go to the bathroom. I saw my doctor and he prescribed some suppositories which I haven’t used yet because he thinks that I might have torn something that might need a “rest.” He also advised me to increase my fluid intake and fiber so we’ll see what happens.

I don’t know what to think about this. I know that obesity puts me at a very high risk for a variety of cancers; breast, uterine (my PCOS increases the risk for this as well), kidney and colon among many others. When I was working for the American Cancer Society, imagine me having to sit on the other side of the phone talking to someone about risk factors for various types of cancer and finding obesity in the list almost every time. I doubt seriously they pictured a 400+ pound woman reading off that list to them. So, while I know it could just be a hemorrhoid or a small tear, the fact that it could be something else is also nagging at the back of my mind. For whatever reason, my doctor did not refer me out for a colonoscopy; he didn’t even do a digital rectal exam (not that I was looking forward to one).

When I got home, I did a little research about having a colonoscopy when you are obese and was not surprised to find several articles indicating that obese patients have a 25% LESS chance of being screened or referred for a colonoscopy compared to non-obese patients. This is the case even though obese patients are at a greater risk for colon cancer. I’m sure a small percentage might be due to the fact that a colonoscopy can be more risky and difficult to perform on the obese. Unfortunately, I am also just a little bit more convinced that it probably has to do with the fact that most doctors aren’t all that eager to have us drop our drawers and assume the position for them. I also think that obesity affects people’s perception in such a way that they don’t take obese people as seriously as they might a non-obese patient. Maybe I’m being too harsh…I don’t know, I could be wrong. It would be interesting to see what sort of barriers to colonoscopy referral these scientists identified for obese patients.

Anyway, so I’ve been thinking a lot about my health the last few days. All the other ailments I’ve had in the last year, the fact that I’m certainly nearing that age when age alone is a risk for numerous health issues. Right now I have obesity, age, and history as a smoker (I smoked for 10 years but quit when I got pregnant with Tanner..going on 14 years smoke free!) as risk factors. Not that I’m necessarily a hypochondriac, but when you have all that looking you in the face, acting as if you were going to live to 100 would be complete denial. My health is probably one of the number one reasons I’m trying to get this weight off. I think part of my reasoning for being so open about this problem in my blog is to keep me accountable. Even with all I know, I can feel part of myself just wants to hide my head in the sand and explain the bleeding away with some benign problem. Deep down, I know that I can’t take any chances with symptoms like this and will need to follow up if they don’t resolve.

I went ahead and made an appointment with my gynocologist for early july. I haven’t had a gyno exam done in several years so it needs to be done and I figured that if I’m still having problems with bleeding, she can check that out too and we’ll see if she thinks I need a colonoscopy or something. As of now, I’m still having the bleeding even with soft stools so no telling what is going on.

With all that said…I have done reasonably well on my diet and exercise this week. I will work on increasing my fluids and fiber rich foods (something I need to do for weight loss anyway) and hope for the best.

DIAGNOSIS: COOTIES

I was a good girl and went to my doctor today. As I’ve mentioned before, I really do like this doctor. He is all of 3 minutes by car from my house and he has always taken his time with me which is probably the number one thing I look for when searching for a doctor. I don’t mind waiting in your lobby if I know you are running late because you take your time with each patient and aren’t trying to process us all in less than 5 minutes. He also treats me like a human being. He discusses my weight, because he’d be a crappy doctor if he didn’t, but I never feel judged and he isn’t inclined to treat EVERYTHING as if it’s a direct result of how much I weigh:

“Well Mrs. V, you probably wouldn’t have that sore throat if you just lowered your fat intake to 20g per day.”

I won’t go into detail about my visit with him because it was pretty standard. He ultimately diagnosed me with a sinus infection and asked me to come back for a stress test for the other symptoms I mentioned I had last week. The past few days I was doing better, so maybe my body is just trying to figure out what the heck I’m doing with all the healthy food and extra activity. I kind of have this whole crazy scenario in my head where the higher ups in the management of my body are sounding alarms and barking orders trying to deal with the chaos my new diet and exercise regime must have caused:

“She’s trying to use WHAT muscles??? She hasn’t used those in over a year!” “And whats with the reduced calorie intake? What is she trying to do to us?? We can’t support this body on that kind of intake! Where are the French fries and Cheeseburgers?!? Can someone please text the fat cells and tell them we are going to have to downsize?

Somewhere in the region of my butt, the sorry little fat cells are melting, two or three have banned together with violins playing their last little concerto while the Titanic that was my ass goes down. I have a rather overactive imagination, I know. I didn’t share this little theory with my doctor just in case you were wondering, I think I might have come out with a whole other kind of diagnosis if I had.

Ok, well enough of that. Essentially, he gave me some antibiotics and asked me to come back for an echo cardiogram and a stress test. I’ll be scheduling that in the next few weeks. The interesting part of the visit happened when I walked into his waiting room.

This particular doctor is from some Middle Eastern country and most of his patients are of Middle Eastern descent. I won’t lie to you, I am pretty ignorant when it comes to middle eastern culture so maybe part of what I experienced can be chalked up to cultural differences and not just outright rudeness. If any of you can clarify, I’d love to hear your opinions, but I’m inclined to think it was just rudeness. Just to set the scene, I was the only non-middle eastern patient in the office today.

So I walk into the waiting room and find it’s very crowded. Every seat is taken, but two of the seats have tiny little 3 year old butts in each of them. The seats in the doctor’s office could easily sit three 3 year old butts comfortably in one chair, so I’m thinking that by the time I sign in, maybe the mom will have asked her two children to sit together so that the nice fat lady has a place to sit. NOT HAPPENING. I turn around and this family just stares at me, I turn to the receptionist and ask if there is somewhere else I can sit (secretly hoping that they might overhear me and make room for me). The receptionist says they only have what is available in the waiting room and that she’ll try to get me in a room as quickly as possible. In the meantime, I know that I have a good two minutes on my feet before my body begins to protest so it’s slightly “panic time” in my head.

Luckily, one of the hyperactive three year olds decides he’d much rather be running laps around the waiting room so I swoop in and ask the mother if its ok for me to sit in his now vacant seat. She gives me this “look” and looks at her husband who is filling out the paperwork as if to make sure its OK with him and then turns to me and says something I can’t understand. Her body language seems to say its ok with her, but apparently they were NOT ok with it.

I sit down and the children immediately start wailing in some other language and the mother gets up and trades seats with them; I’m assuming so they don’t have to sit next to the fat lady? I try not to take it personally, children will be children after all and maybe I’m the first really fat person they’ve ever seen in their lives. Maybe they thought it was catching or maybe they just thought I was gross? I don’t know. What I will tell you is that when a woman came out from the back office, everybody in that damn office started playing musical chairs to make room for HER to sit down. The father filling out the paperwork actually GOT UP OUT OF HIS CHAIR and stood so that this other woman could sit down. Another woman came in (of obvious Middle Eastern descent) and again with the musical chairs making room for her. At this point, I wanted a magazine, but I was seriously worried that if I got out of my chair, one of these men who were now standing, would swoop in and claim my vacant seat.

My conclusion? Unbeknownst to me, there must have been some cootie detection alarm that went off when I walked through the door. I didn’t hear it, but it was obvious everybody else did. I mean, I took a shower, used my bath and body works scrub, and put on deodorant (which honestly a couple of other somebodys in that office hadn’t bothered to use that morning). Heck, I even used a few sprays of my Gautier perfume so I was pretty darn sure that any cooties that might have survived the shower were smelling really good. So what was the problem? Was this a “fat thing” or a “cultural thing” or just a plain “we are a rude bunch of people thing?” I refuse to believe that I have cooties!!!

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