BLAST my inadequate food journaling!!!

Ok, so I woke up today and I am STILL at 347! I've been stalled for what 3-4 weeks now and I'm not lovin' it! I stay positive most of the time, but darnit! I want to get into the 330's!!

So, I looked at my food journal. Lately I haven't been putting in certain things like the coffee I have in the morning with agave nectar and this belgian toffee creamer thing Erik got and hated. I figured I'd go ahead and use it in my coffee, how bad could it be? I eat so little, a "little" (I don't really measure, but I like my coffee creamy so it's probably more than the average bear)creamer in my coffee and a "dash" (i usually take the top off and pour a little "gloop" of agave into my cup) of agave nectar. I think there may have been a little voice in my head saying "Micheeeelllleee, you may want to rethink your creamer and sweetener choice or at least post it in your food log" but nay...I ignored this voice. My morning cup of coffee is my little piece of heaven...I was really enjoying this whole combination of belgian chocolate toffee flavored goodness mixed with the no-aftertaste agave. *sigh*

So, today I decided to go ahead and log my coffee concoction just to see if it might be the reason I'm stalling and lo and behold, it may very well be the reason I'm maintaining. I figured 2 tblsp of agave (not sure if I actually use that much or not, but I will sheepishly admit that it probably isn't out of the realm of possibility) is 120 mother freaking calories and 26 fracking carbs!!! Then I moved onto the creamer...one serving is 4 tsp and I would say that is a very modest estimate for how much I put in my coffee. Cha-Ching! This adds another 60 calories and another 9 carbs. I basically drank and entire day's worth of carbs people!

I can't really think of anything else that I'm doing that might be impacting my weight loss right now so I'm going to start with my coffee (probably using almond milk or heavy cream...which has fewer carbs than creamer or milk...to lighten it up and truvia to add a little sweetener and I will LOG it in my journal. Hopefully this is the problem and we'll see better numbers next week, but let this be a lesson to all my fellow diet kiddies out there...JOURNAL EVERYTHING YOU PUT IN YOUR MOUTH!

Apart from not losing anything in several weeks, I must say that I am looking pretty darn FABULOUS! I'll try to get some pictures taken even though there probably isn't much change from the last group.

Bike update and the trials and tribulations of converting our family to a Low Carb Lifestyle

I just got off the phone with the guy we’ve been talking to about our bikes. I think I’ve decided to get both Tanner and I adult tricycles. Tanner has to have one because of his balance issues (from the meningitis) and I think that initially, it will work better for me since I have a history of back problems, etc. I also think it will be helpful since we will most likely be using our bikes to get around our immediate area at some point (get to the grocery store, local shops, maybe even to some karate classes down the street) and the tricycles will have a nice big basket on the back that can be used to transport groceries or whatever else we might need to take with us. I continue to lament being a single car household...it sucks.

Initially, I found an adult trike at Walmart that was around $250 and I thought we could probably just purchase that for both of us and save us quite a bit of money, but I recently learned that the trikes Walmart sells are only a one speed. Due to Tanner’s low muscle tone (also due to the meningitis...not to be confused with the general low muscle STRENGTH that comes from being just being lazy lol), he really will need the 3-speed. I’m thinking that initially, a 3-speed would probably be better for me as well as I work on increasing my own strength. The 3-speeds are going to cost us around $430 a piece of which I have $200.00 saved so far (some of that is money my grandfather gave Tanner for his birthday to put toward his own bicycle).

I would really like to get the bikes purchased in the next few months, but we’ll have to see. Something always seems to happen whenever we get ahead a bit financially which is frustrating, but that’s life. This recent hospitalization means I was out of work without pay for a week and Erik also was out of work (his night job) without pay. However, the good thing is that Erik’s second job (the day job) has him in a fairly consistent placement through the end of the year so we can count on his income to make up the difference. I also have another job I can work a few hours a day (it is monotonous as hell) that will help make up the difference so I’m sure we’ll be fine :)

On another front, our entire household is trying to convert to the low-carb lifestyle. I have to say that Erik has been fairly resistant to the whole switch (he’s always hated low-carbing because he is such a carb-o-holic) so it has been frustrating for me. He seems to be making more of a concerted effort now, but I can tell he really is not embracing the whole switch. Tanner isn’t exactly in love with it either, but has agreed to give it a try for at least the next month. We’ve had a few minor meltdowns when Tanner learned he couldn’t have mac and cheese, but I’m going to be trying some tofu shirataki noodles in the next week or so; we’ll see what he thinks of those.

I suggested trying to have us ALL on a lower carb diet because I really think it will help Tanner. He is on medication that makes him hungry all the time and I'm hoping that low carbing will help curb his appetite to some degree and give him more energy. Several years ago, the neurologist prescribing these meds indicated that he should probably be on a low carb diet, but at the time, we had bigger behavioral fish to fry. Right now, I'm mainly concerned about the fact that he hasn't been on a low carb diet but has been eating the meals I make in the evening and snacking on some of my low carb foods at other times. As most of you know, when you are on a low carb diet, you basically are changing the way your body metabolizes food and fat. While a low carb diet may be higher in fat, because your body is actually metabolizing it differently, you can still lose weight. As a matter of fact, trying to do a low carb, low fat diet often results in mediocre weight loss at best because you need to eat fat to burn fat when low carbing. However, if you are on a low fat diet and eat the occasional low carb meal (which is likely higher in fat), you are going to gain weight. My worry has been that Tanner will probably begin to put weight back on if he isn't low carbing with me. So we are experimenting and will have to see if the guys in the family survive. You'd think I was STARVING them with the moaning and complaining they've been doing lol! I'm hoping it will get easier as they get over their carb withdrawal.

I'm trying to make it easier on them by trying new recipes and I've actually had some success with quite a few so far. I made some banana nut flax seed muffins that turned out pretty good, but Tanner wasn't a fan of the banana flavor so I'm going to try and adapt it to a blueberry muffin or chocolate chip peanut butter muffin (made with SF chocolate and SF peanut butter of course) and see how he likes that.

Before I went into the hospital, I made some flax seed foccacia bread using this recipe, but I tweaked it a bit (I added some italian seasoning, minced onion and sundried tomatoes) and it tasted very similar to stove top stuffing so it may be a good holiday substitute for us this year. Yesterday, I made this mock baked potato casserole that I adapted from a sparkpeople recipe and Tanner went back for seconds so it is nice to know that he will accept some of the mock substitutes now and then. I made it with more green onion and didn’t include the bacon (mainly because I was lazy and didn't feel like cooking the bacon...I also had Tanner breathing down my neck for dinner lol). Honestly, it was a really flavorful substitute for mashed potatoes. The consistency was a bit off (a bit “softer” than I would like) so I may try to make it again and tweak it a bit until I’m happy with the consistency and then I’ll post it on my recipe blog.

On the weigh-in front...I'm back to 350 today so headed back down again which is good. Doing my best to stay hydrated. So far, so good!

Seein' Doctors and Losing Weight

Note: I was going to try to find a funny little cartoon about going to the gynecologist and made the mistake of image googling "gynecologist" without the porn filter on :P Now I'm a little sick to my stomach. Hope you don't mind the blog sans funny cartoon!

Ok so last week, I spent a lot of time in doctor’s offices. I scheduled an appointment with my gyno’s nurse practitioner and learned that she was also a fellow bariatric patient. She had the RNY, but was interested to hear about the sleeve. I wasn’t sure if she was going to be able to do a pap that day although the medication she prescribed had pretty much stopped the bleeding I was experiencing. I think after talking to me a bit and noticing that it had been five years since my last pap, she figured she better strike while the iron was hot so she sent me off with my superman cape and told me to get nekkid.

I love the things they talk to you about while they are inserting the speculum and basically probing around in your privates: “So what do you do for a living?” “Are you from San Antonio?” “Do you live nearby?” All of these questions you are obligated to answer as if you were merely standing in line at the grocery counter and not spread eagled with lots of equipment and appendages in your hoo-ha. I did my best to answer her questions and when she complimented me on my “nice long cervix” I thanked her and told her that I got compliments on it all the time (I didn’t really, it was one of those things I thought of later and wished I had said). I mean seriously? Later when I told Erik what she had said I made some stupid joke about it being something he could brag to his friends about: “Yeah my wife may weigh a few hundred pounds, but MAN if you could see her cervix you’d understand!”

She seemed to think everything was ok, but wanted me to go for an ultrasound and since I’m 40, she wanted me to get in for a mammogram (BTW blogging buddies, Breast Cancer Awareness Month is coming up in October so go get yourself squished!).

I’ve had the ultrasound (which was SO uncomfortable….they always are…I’ll spare you the details for once) and heard back from my gyno. Apparently my uterine lining (which can build up in people with PCOS and put them at risk for endometrial cancer) was pretty thin so she isn’t sure whether they will need to put in an IUD (the NP had suggested it as a way to keep the lining from building up and I was all for it because it meant NO PERIOD YAY). My doctor was concerned that if we did an IUD it might actually cause break through bleeding since the lining was so thin to begin with. Anyway, we are going to wait and see how the next cycle goes before taking any action.

I have my mammogram this Saturday so fingers crossed there. I’ve had mammograms before so I know what to expect…a perky little cheerleader who is going to have to act as if my mammoth breastages are just as lovely as hers! Oh well, they will be SOME DAY! By the end of this week, I should be fairly thoroughly checked out.

I almost forgot, remember the cyst from hell? Yeah it is still giving me problems so I went in to see a dermatologist this time around. She lanced it and injected some steroids so hopefully it will go away already!

Hmm, what other repulsive medical information can I share with the masses and ensure my single status for the rest of my life? I think that’s about it guys sorry…my well of disgusting factual tidbits has run dry.

On the weight loss front, I am down to 366!! Today I was actually 367, but I think that is because I came back off my blood pressure meds. OH! I forgot to tell you…when I went to the gyno, my blood pressure was up a bit 130/100 :S She advised that I go back on my BP meds which I did for several days, but I felt pretty crappy the days I took it. Very similar to when I had to be hospitalized, but not nearly as bad. I just had NO energy, really tired almost to the point that talking at the end of the day would wear me out. Lately, I’m used to feeling super energized so I stopped them yesterday and I’m going to try to find some time to get into my regular doc to have my BP taken to see if maybe that one time was just a flukey thing.

Because of the lack of energy, I haven’t been getting on the treadmill the last few days, but I HAVE been doing a whole lot more around the house. My mom would die to know how much I am enjoying housework now that I can actually do it again. I think Erik is enjoying it too lol. I’ve also been trying out a lot of new recipes. We had a low carb version of salmon patties last night (I used almond flour instead of breadcrumbs and flour) and they turned out alright. I think I’m going to have to add something (lemon pepper and maybe squeeze a little lemon juice on them afterwards). They were just ok. I also tried this baked cauliflower which turned out fairly horrible. I don’t recommend it :P

As far as weight loss goes, I have posted a projected weight I want to be at for each month and I’m darn close to where I want to be by next Thursday which will be my 3-month mark since surgery. The goal weight is 359. I might be able to do that, but I’m going to have to step up the exercise for sure. Even if I don’t make it, just being this close is pretty awesome. I have figured that if I continue to lose the way I have been, I could be under 300 by the end of the year. We’ll have to wait and see though.

Breathe In......and Breathe Out...... (preferably in between sips of some really good Rum)

I was totally going to do a feel good post today. I had even started listing stuff I had to be thankful for, then my day began to unravel. I got a call 4 minutes before work was over that took about an hour to take care of. Meanwhile, I have dinner in the crockpot that needed some finishing touches; I had also planned to try mock mashed potatoes with it, but it was obvious that was not going to happen this time around. Needless to say, this phone call put me an hour behind schedule. Just as I was logging out of work, I get IM’d by someone regarding some scheduling drama that I won’t go into, but it was a rather stressful conversation that left me feeling as if some might have felt I was taking advantage of “the system” when I was just doing things the way I was told *sigh*.

I finally get past that, and move on to trying to scan this behemoth of a document to send to the lawyers and realize my printer only wants to cooperate ONE.MOTHERFREAKING.PAGE.AT.A.TIME. The document I’m trying to scan in is about 70 pgs long. Seeing as I’m not into self-torture, I decide to fax instead. While I’m coping with all this, I hear Tanner and Erik get home from a doctor’s appointment. Apparently Tanner is perseverating on downloading something for his xbox 360 so that he can play a regular xbox game (he got his games back today after earning them back) so of course he expects the world to come to a STOP while we fix it. Anyway, you get the picture. We finally figure out that we can’t get this game to work on the xbox 360 and erik heads downstairs to finish up dinner.

In the meantime, I heard back on the third job I applied for asking me to schedule some time I can be shadowed (work with someone watching me like a hawk) so I went ahead and scheduled about 20 hours next week. This is 20 in addition to the 40 at my main job and the 10 I work each night at my second job. I know it’s insane, but with lawyers to pay, I really don’t have a choice.

Then I come down to find that Erik has dumped an entire bag of egg noodles into MY low carb crock pot meal :( Somebody hold me…. In all fairness to him, his brain is just as scrambled as mine and he did go and meticulously pick out all the noodles in my serving, but ARRRRGGGH.

Breathe in…….Breathe out……..and go to my happy place. In case you were wondering, my happy place happens to be on the beach. I’m about 150 lbs in my happy place so I look Smokin’ HOT in a tiny little red bikini. My body is completely immune to the effects of gravity so my chi-chi’s are pert and happy to be kissed by the sun, Breathe in……….Breathe out……….I open my eyes, lowering my sunglasses a bit to look up into the beautiful eyes of Jeffrey Dean Morgan who happens to be moonlighting as my cabana boy, isn’t that nice of him? He brings me the tastiest foo foo drink he has and sits down beside me to massage my tense muscles and doesn’t even try to stop after the first 5 minutes! *sigh* It’s a very happy place.

I feel a little better, but it could have something to do with the xanax I took about an hour ago. On the upside…I lost another pound today so I’m down about 8 lbs since Monday? I stuck to my diet, but need to start working some walking into my schedule. That’s the next thing I’ll tackle.

As for what I’m thankful for; I’m thankful that we were lucky enough to find some pretty amazing educational lawyers several years ago and I’m thankful that they are going to do all this work for ONLY $300.00 (at least through the hearing on Monday). I’m thankful that I had some money tucked away; even though it was the bankruptcy money and this is the third time I’ve managed to save it up only to have to spend it on something else. At least we were able to hire the lawyers as I do not want to do this hearing on my own Monday.

I’m REALLY thankful that Erik just got home from the store with a HUGE bottle of Vodka and Rum! I’m making a low carb cheesecake with a low carb chocolate rum ganache for poker night tomorrow at the Ochoa’s. Apparently, they were having a sale at the liquor store and miracles of miracles, Erik picked out two liquors with 0 carb count. Woohoo, party at Chez V! Who am I kidding, we’ll probably have one drink and be in bed by 8PM.

I’m also thankful for the new Imogen Heap album that always seems to put a smile on my face when I listen to it; Particularly this song at the moment. This one is pretty good too. I’m also loving this song by Iron and Wine. I love music and I really love that a really great song can transform my mood; even if its only for 3 minutes 37 seconds. The effect usually lasts a bit longer afterwards. What are you guys listening to? What songs do you put on when you need a pick me up or need to escape for a few minutes?

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Day One Down: Looking forward to day two

I managed to make it through the day on program which right now is a feat for me. I'm low carbing this time around and I met most of my goals, but actually didn't eat enough, but I got a headache earlier and slept through lunch. Dinner was a few meatballs (Erik made spaghetti and meatballs with garlic bread for dinner, sweet of him wasn't it?). I wasn't really all that tempted though. I dug the meatballs out of the spaghetti, made a salad and had a few deviled eggs. For a snack I had some sugar free jello and whipped cream. We'll see how I do on this. I usually do best on a low carb diet and it's what all my doctors have recommended given my PCOS. I need to get back on the glucophage though and that's always fun; if you like multiple trips to the bathroom fun that is...

Feeling good so far, keep your fingers crossed for me !!

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Conversations with God: "Get to the Gym Girl!"

Hey all, my apologies for not getting a post up yesterday, but I worked about 10 hrs straight which was actually a light day for me, but given the fact that I got up at 5:00AM to go WORK OUT (woot!), I was pooped by 5:00PM. Yes, you read that right  I actually set my alarm and when it went off at 5am, I got out of bed, shoehorned myself into my sexy black swimsuit and grabbed my keys so that I could head off to the gym.

To add insult to injury (the injury being that I had to squeeze into that sexy black swimsuit...I chose black of course for its slimming effect), God apparently saw fit to not allow my ex to see my email asking him not to park behind me so that I could take my car to the gym. This meant that after squeezing myself into the lovely black swimsuit (which has absolutely crap-o-licious support for my copious breastages), I had to squeeze myself into a tiny green Toyota Echo. At my size, it looked like the car was merely another layer to my beach ensemble (said copious breastages were in constant peril of pressing the horn I was packed in there so tightly). Knowing God as I do, I realized this was his way of saying “About darn time you got yourself back to the gym Missy and just in case you are thinking this will be the first and the last visit to the gym, you just remember that you are almost too big to fit in a damn car…got it? Good!”

Hearing the voice of God speak to you at 5am is a rather profound experience, but when he’s really laying into you like that….you listen! I offered up a silent bargain to God that if he would get me to the gym safely, and by “safely” I meant no traffic stops, accidents, flat tires, or any other incident that might mean even MORE people were going to see me in my sparkly black swimsuit (I can see the mug shot on The Smoking Gun’s website already), I would continue to go back to the gym for as long as it took. Fifteen minutes later I was pulling into the gym parking lot so he must have took me up on the offer. However, on the way over, I remembered that Erik mentioned his car had a habit of locking him in and that he had occasionally had to climb over the gear shift thingy to get out the right side of the car. Knowing that there was NO way I was going to manage that maneuver without seriously injuring myself, I sent up a quick “P.S.” to God further clarifying that “safely” now included not having to have the Jaws of life called out to get me out of the car once at the gym.

I got there a bit early so I used this extra time, after successfully opening the car door (Yea God!), to extricate myself from the Echo; believe me, this was a workout in itself! Next came the walk up the stairs and down the long corridor to the gym, yet another workout, but I managed to get to the pool in once piece.

When I stepped in the room where they have the pool, I was a bit concerned; it was rather warm, almost as if they had the heat on. I knew the pool was heated so I was already beginning to wonder how comfortable it was going to be. When I started using the pool, the heater was broken so I was used to it being lukewarm. I don’t know if I’ve mentioned it, but another issue I have with exercise is getting overheated. I have rosacea and not only will getting overheated cause my face to break out in the worst way, but getting overheated also tends to trigger migraines for me. I know I seem like I have an excuse for everything, but I swear...this is all medically documented. I would LOVE to be able to exercise and push myself as far as I could without worrying about stuff like this, but I know my body. At the time, I was really only worried about the rosacea because I hadn’t had a migraine in forever (ever since getting on blood pressure medication) and I can live with a breakout, but I’m not so ok with the migraines. I knew I had a full day of work ahead of me.

I took off my snazzy new short set that I’d worn over my swimsuit (Erik would call me “sporty spice” for the rest of the day when he saw me wearing it lol) and wobbled over to the edge of the pool. It was nicely heated and felt just a bit cooler than a hot tub actually and I think if the room had been a bit cooler, it would have felt great. I started the timer and got in. I started things off by doing some step work just to get my heart rate up. About 2-3 minutes of that and then I grabbed a noodle so that I could start “running” which is basically dog paddling really fast without using your hands. It does a nice job of getting my heart rate up and at this point that’s what is important. I did that for about 15 minutes and then did a breast stroke for another 10, ultimately slowing things down and finishing off with “leg lifts” to help strengthen my legs. With the resistance, this seems to be a good exercise for both my inner and outer thighs, but it also tests my core strength because I have to keep my torso balanced as I move my legs.

Honestly, outside of getting WAY overheated…I spent most of my time in the pool facing two windows that I had wished I had opened before starting…I didn’t feel like I had done much at all. I had a few moments where I could feel my knee kind of get torqued and made mental notes to myself about what NOT to do next time. It was when I went to get out of the pool that I started praying again. I could feel every single pound pulling on my poor skeleton as I hauled my body out of the water. WOW! Going from the buoyancy of the water and feeling the effects of gravity once more made the walk from the pool to the shower feel as if I had doubled my weight in the last 30 minutes. I took that as a last “P.S” from God to make sure I made my next workout appointment the following week.

As the day progressed, I really did feel the workout. It was more muscle fatigue than soreness though. I did end up with the start of a migraine, but took my migraine meds and it went away. I will just have to open up those windows next time. Right now, I think they will offer enough cool air to counteract the sauna feeling of the heater and heated pool together.

Later in the day, I stepped on the scale. I know, I know….it was depressing as it showed I gained. I won’t say how much because I’m doing that competition, but it was depressing to see a gain. Honestly though, I had the burger incident and a few other incidents where I ate out and ate clean, but unless I’m cooking the food myself, I don’t trust the calorie counts. I just don’t see any other way I could have gained. I'm also suspect of those sparkpeople goals. I don't know, if anything I had more days where I was UNDER their totals so maybe that is the problem? Next week, I’m going to make sure that I eat nothing I don’t actually cook for myself, log EVERYTHING and post it here. If I don’t lose weight next week, maybe you guys can help me figure out what the heck I’m doing wrong.

I’m a little nervous because the last time I really tried to lose weight, it came off SUPER slowly. In three months of watching what I ate and spending 6 days a week in the gym doing boot camp style workouts, I lost only 20 lbs. I got down to 419 and then plateaued. At the time, I really was sure it was because I was packing on the muscle. I had never worked out so hard so I chalked it up to that. Now, I’m a little worried that maybe there is something wonky going on with the PCOS. I know as you get heavier, your ability to lose weight gets harder due to the issues with insulin resistance and other related problems. If I can’t seem to lose weight next week, I think I may have to resort to a low carb diet.

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