I guess Illness is good for something...Weigh In :)

This looks nothing like my weigh-in's and I have no clue who these guys are, but it cracked me up when I saw it. Boys are so silly aren't they? I mean seriously....get a room or something geesh.

Ok, Thanks to everyone for your well wishes while I've been sick. I'm still recovering, but think I'm finally on the mend after taking Zmax. For those of you who haven't tried it yet, all I can say is you will taste it for DAYS...blech. It's an entire bottle of antibiotics that you have to drink in one gulp. I had to bribe Tanner with Bill Millers (I know food...shame on mommy, but he HAD to drink it and he's taller than me now) a month ago when he had to take it. On my list of medicines that suck, it isn't at the top of the list, but it's right up there.

I went ahead and stepped on the scale expecting the worst honestly because even though I wasn't doing a lot of eating, what I was eating was not diet friendly. It was the comfort food/easy to swallow variety; think macaroni and cheese, mashed potatoes, ice cream. While I can't tell you how much I lost, I will tell you that it was my biggest lost since my first initial loss. I guess we'll have to see if the ice cream and other comfort foods catch up with me next week.

Today I'm firmly back on the wagon though. I had cheerios with a sprinkling of almonds and an orange for breakfast and I'm feeling more energetic today, but overall, my body still aches. I think its just from being in bed so much. I'm going to give myself one more day before jumping back into my workout routine.

I've also been thinking about calling up my old trainer. I think one of my goals is going to be getting back into his workouts. I loved that he didn't cut me any slack and really kicked my arse every single time I went to his gym. I loved leaving there and feeling like I had been hit by a mack truck. I guess because he made me do things I didn't think I could do at 400+ lbs. 200 pushup workouts, 20 minutes of step aerobics, 30 minutes of cardio kickboxing. I do need to build up my strength a bit though or he will seriously kill me. I probably need to get around to that stress test too. Regardless, that is one of my goals now; to get back to Denny some time this summer. Tanner and I had a lot of fun doing the kickboxing together and I felt stronger after three months with him than I had in a long time.

Ok, going to go rest a bit.

OH! I wanted to thank my Papa for sending me some money to make sure I continued going to the pool! Considering Tanner just trashed his hearing aid (not on purpose, but still...) the money is going to come in very handy so that I can continue going to the pool and send the aid in for repairs....did you guys know that health insurance won't pay for hearing aids or hearing aid repairs? It seriously sucks considering his hearing aid costs over $1000 and his cochlear implant processor is close to $8000. Later I'll have to tell you guys about the time he threw his hearing aid to the seals at Sea World (he was 2 and out of fish to feed them)...oh we can laugh about it now...then, not so much. I'm tellin' you guys, this kid gave us a run for our money.

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Conversations with God: "Get to the Gym Girl!"

Hey all, my apologies for not getting a post up yesterday, but I worked about 10 hrs straight which was actually a light day for me, but given the fact that I got up at 5:00AM to go WORK OUT (woot!), I was pooped by 5:00PM. Yes, you read that right  I actually set my alarm and when it went off at 5am, I got out of bed, shoehorned myself into my sexy black swimsuit and grabbed my keys so that I could head off to the gym.

To add insult to injury (the injury being that I had to squeeze into that sexy black swimsuit...I chose black of course for its slimming effect), God apparently saw fit to not allow my ex to see my email asking him not to park behind me so that I could take my car to the gym. This meant that after squeezing myself into the lovely black swimsuit (which has absolutely crap-o-licious support for my copious breastages), I had to squeeze myself into a tiny green Toyota Echo. At my size, it looked like the car was merely another layer to my beach ensemble (said copious breastages were in constant peril of pressing the horn I was packed in there so tightly). Knowing God as I do, I realized this was his way of saying “About darn time you got yourself back to the gym Missy and just in case you are thinking this will be the first and the last visit to the gym, you just remember that you are almost too big to fit in a damn car…got it? Good!”

Hearing the voice of God speak to you at 5am is a rather profound experience, but when he’s really laying into you like that….you listen! I offered up a silent bargain to God that if he would get me to the gym safely, and by “safely” I meant no traffic stops, accidents, flat tires, or any other incident that might mean even MORE people were going to see me in my sparkly black swimsuit (I can see the mug shot on The Smoking Gun’s website already), I would continue to go back to the gym for as long as it took. Fifteen minutes later I was pulling into the gym parking lot so he must have took me up on the offer. However, on the way over, I remembered that Erik mentioned his car had a habit of locking him in and that he had occasionally had to climb over the gear shift thingy to get out the right side of the car. Knowing that there was NO way I was going to manage that maneuver without seriously injuring myself, I sent up a quick “P.S.” to God further clarifying that “safely” now included not having to have the Jaws of life called out to get me out of the car once at the gym.

I got there a bit early so I used this extra time, after successfully opening the car door (Yea God!), to extricate myself from the Echo; believe me, this was a workout in itself! Next came the walk up the stairs and down the long corridor to the gym, yet another workout, but I managed to get to the pool in once piece.

When I stepped in the room where they have the pool, I was a bit concerned; it was rather warm, almost as if they had the heat on. I knew the pool was heated so I was already beginning to wonder how comfortable it was going to be. When I started using the pool, the heater was broken so I was used to it being lukewarm. I don’t know if I’ve mentioned it, but another issue I have with exercise is getting overheated. I have rosacea and not only will getting overheated cause my face to break out in the worst way, but getting overheated also tends to trigger migraines for me. I know I seem like I have an excuse for everything, but I swear...this is all medically documented. I would LOVE to be able to exercise and push myself as far as I could without worrying about stuff like this, but I know my body. At the time, I was really only worried about the rosacea because I hadn’t had a migraine in forever (ever since getting on blood pressure medication) and I can live with a breakout, but I’m not so ok with the migraines. I knew I had a full day of work ahead of me.

I took off my snazzy new short set that I’d worn over my swimsuit (Erik would call me “sporty spice” for the rest of the day when he saw me wearing it lol) and wobbled over to the edge of the pool. It was nicely heated and felt just a bit cooler than a hot tub actually and I think if the room had been a bit cooler, it would have felt great. I started the timer and got in. I started things off by doing some step work just to get my heart rate up. About 2-3 minutes of that and then I grabbed a noodle so that I could start “running” which is basically dog paddling really fast without using your hands. It does a nice job of getting my heart rate up and at this point that’s what is important. I did that for about 15 minutes and then did a breast stroke for another 10, ultimately slowing things down and finishing off with “leg lifts” to help strengthen my legs. With the resistance, this seems to be a good exercise for both my inner and outer thighs, but it also tests my core strength because I have to keep my torso balanced as I move my legs.

Honestly, outside of getting WAY overheated…I spent most of my time in the pool facing two windows that I had wished I had opened before starting…I didn’t feel like I had done much at all. I had a few moments where I could feel my knee kind of get torqued and made mental notes to myself about what NOT to do next time. It was when I went to get out of the pool that I started praying again. I could feel every single pound pulling on my poor skeleton as I hauled my body out of the water. WOW! Going from the buoyancy of the water and feeling the effects of gravity once more made the walk from the pool to the shower feel as if I had doubled my weight in the last 30 minutes. I took that as a last “P.S” from God to make sure I made my next workout appointment the following week.

As the day progressed, I really did feel the workout. It was more muscle fatigue than soreness though. I did end up with the start of a migraine, but took my migraine meds and it went away. I will just have to open up those windows next time. Right now, I think they will offer enough cool air to counteract the sauna feeling of the heater and heated pool together.

Later in the day, I stepped on the scale. I know, I know….it was depressing as it showed I gained. I won’t say how much because I’m doing that competition, but it was depressing to see a gain. Honestly though, I had the burger incident and a few other incidents where I ate out and ate clean, but unless I’m cooking the food myself, I don’t trust the calorie counts. I just don’t see any other way I could have gained. I'm also suspect of those sparkpeople goals. I don't know, if anything I had more days where I was UNDER their totals so maybe that is the problem? Next week, I’m going to make sure that I eat nothing I don’t actually cook for myself, log EVERYTHING and post it here. If I don’t lose weight next week, maybe you guys can help me figure out what the heck I’m doing wrong.

I’m a little nervous because the last time I really tried to lose weight, it came off SUPER slowly. In three months of watching what I ate and spending 6 days a week in the gym doing boot camp style workouts, I lost only 20 lbs. I got down to 419 and then plateaued. At the time, I really was sure it was because I was packing on the muscle. I had never worked out so hard so I chalked it up to that. Now, I’m a little worried that maybe there is something wonky going on with the PCOS. I know as you get heavier, your ability to lose weight gets harder due to the issues with insulin resistance and other related problems. If I can’t seem to lose weight next week, I think I may have to resort to a low carb diet.

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First Steps.....about killed me.

First things first. I did it! I finally got my porky derriere moving. I have to say, Jessie had my heart rate up before I ever got him going, but what can I say? He's an attractive guy. I only spent about five minutes because I'm afraid that's all my poor heart could take. I didn't want to wear him out on our first date; I'm much better in small doses.

All kidding aside, I made it through 5 minutes, but about 2 minutes into it, my back was screaming. My abdominal and back muscles are seriously weak, but walking in slow spurts will be a good way to strengthen them again; at least until I can get back in a pool. I really felt it in my knees and left hip too. My poor body.

According to the little monitor on my treadmill, the highest my heart rate got was 123, but that was on the lowest setting. When I got on the treadmill, it was already up to 118 and 123 seems to be the limit for fatburning. Anything higher than that and I slip into anaerobic exercise. I'm hoping that if I continue to do it regularly, I will gradually be able to increase the amount of time I'm walking. My focus right now is on increasing the amount of time I spend on the treadmill and not so much how fast I'm walking. As long as I have my heart rate in the fat burning zone, I will assume I'm doing some good.

It is so disappointing to see how difficult things are for me. Finishing five minutes was harder than finishing 45 minutes used to be. Then, it was more because I was lazy and just had other things I'd rather be doing. Now, it is truly physically difficult for me to go much beyond one minute. I can continue though.

I start my weight training today. I posted before that I am going to be following the exercises here for a seated total body workout which is perfect for the obese or other people who might have physical limitations, but still want to strength train. I will be alternating upper body workouts with lower body workouts each day and taking Sunday as my rest day. Today I'll start with my upper body. I'm almost looking forward to feeling sore; knowing that my muscles are changing, even if its only bit by bit.

As far as the weigh in, I maintained this week (please see my weight and measurement charts to the left). I suppose I should be glad I'm not gaining, but I won't lie, it is rather disappointing. In the past, I've just seen it come off faster in the beginning, but I know that getting my activity level up will help get things moving again. I also reminded myself that when I started this journey earlier in January I weighed 465 lbs not 460 so all in all, I've lost at least 16 lbs. Right now, I just want to make it into the 430's. Hopefully by the end of march or at least the first couple of weeks of April for sure. We'll see....

Now, let's talk about those measurements... SO hard to post those for you guys. The shame in realizing that my thigh is as big as an average man's waist; my waist is 5'9" around. I truly am wider than I am tall..unreal. I compared those measurements with where I was the last time I dieted and worked out and every single number was up by 1 or 2 inches. I'm not surprised by that though. I can feel it in my clothes and in how uncomfortable I am in my own skin. I have to start somewhere though and I'm already feeling better with what I've lost thus far. It's only going to get better right?

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I have a date with this Big Boy every day this week

Yeah, thats right. I decided to follow in one of my favorite bloggers footsteps and name my treadmill after someone hot so that I can fantasize that getting on that treadmill every day is something I actually look forward to! This week, I'm naming him Jessie after this adorable little blond. Isn't he yummo??? I normally don't like blonds or men this buff, but he's from Texas like me and has that adorable Texas twang that just makes me a bit weak in the knees. Isn't he pretty?

I also watched Diet Tribe so I know there is more to him than just a pretty face; he's definitely a Hunk with a Heart. Who knows, I may decide to honor my treadmill with a new face now and then (I can be fickle that way), but for now at least, I'm devoted to Jessie. Thank you Mr. P for inspiring this woman to get on her treadmill every single night this week! ;)

Check back later today for a weigh in and measurements along with my food log for yesterday.