I figured that even if my body did rebel and I gained this week (we still have to see what the scale says tomorrow), I'm going to do the cyber equivalent of sticking my fingers in my ears, shutting my eyes and saying "lalalalalalalalalalala" and reward myself anyway. I've managed to eat MUCH healthier and get more exercise in the last three weeks than I have in over a year. I think that deserves a little pampering regardless of what my darn scale says. Personally, I think Satan had his finger on the scale...did you see how hard he was working on Friday to get me to give up on the swim workout?
I really need a haircut. The last one I had was back in December and I just learned that my favorite stylist moved to Florida without telling me :( Her name was Carrie and I'm going to miss her :( We had a lot in common, including a struggle with weight. I met her just a few weeks before she went in for gastric bypass and have watched her get slim and healthy. I used to be so self conscious when I would go to the salon...it was a very shi-shi poo-poo salan and most of the people that went there were socialite moms with cute little figures and I'm, well...pretty much the OPPOSITE. I always felt like I had to apologize for being there:
"uh, hi ladies...I know I don't belong here because I'm like...fat and stuff, but I'm kind of a snob when it comes to getting my hair 'did' so I hope you don't mind if I hang out for a few hours? You don't have to talk to me or anything civil like that, just pretend I'm not here."
Isn't it sad that we feel that way? Like we have to apologize to people for inflicting ourselves on them; for somehow coming into their field of vision for the day? It is probably more in our head...we feel awful about ourselves and the way we look and we kind of project that onto everyone else. I know there are people out there who get off on feeling superior around people like me, but for the most part, I don't think it bothers other people half as much as it bothers us. Anyway, I've digressed a bit. I loved going to see Carrie because she always made me feel welcome and worthy of pampering. This last Christmas, when I couldn't afford to get my hair done, she talked to her boss and let me come in and get the works (haircut, color, highlight, style) and only allowed me to pay her $10.00. Normally, this would have cost me between $150 and $200. She really was a sweetheart and now she's gone :( I'm hoping that I can at least stay in touch with her, but I've been leaving her messages and haven't heard back yet.
I really can't afford that sort of pampering anymore so I decided to call the nearest Aveda Institute. For what it used to cost me to get a haircut, I can basically get the works at this place. I realize I'm kind of compromising on quality, but I know I'm going to get a much better cut and color there than i would if I went to a regular salon that I can afford (smartcuts) at the moment. I'm going to be getting my color touched up (all over color with highlights and lowlights) and a cut. I've included a recent face pic of me with my shaggy mess along with some cuts I'm considering. I would LOVE it if you guys would help me choose one. If you find a cut somewhere else on the web that you want to suggest, feel free to comment below and leave a link.
Also, if you find a dye job you think I should request, leave a link to that as well. Typically I get a color close to my natural (kind of a light brown) with caramel-y highlights, etc. I used to be blonde (you saw the pics) but the last time I went blond it just really didn't suit me anymore. Staying closer to auburns or chestnut browns seems to bring out my eyes (hazel) more. I'll talley everything up and post new pics on Wednesday. Let's hope they don't butcher things!
Oh! I'll also be getting a pedicure. I decided that for my weigh-in's I'm going to start taking a picture of me on the scale (looking down at my feet) and since I don't want to scare everyone with my winter feet, I felt a pedicure was in order. Besides, it makes me happy to look at painted toenails, I don't know why. I don't have a foot fetish or anything, don't get me wrong (so all you guys googling super obese immobile women in fishnets with painted toenails can keep on a-googlin' still nothing to see here). I think I enjoy it because it makes me feel girly. It is hard to feel girly at 450 lbs and when I was thinner, I was very much a foo-foo girly girl. I loved getting my nails done, dressing nice and getting made up. I seem to do less and less of that the heavier I get. I guess I feel like putting paint on a pig (although I do think the pic above is kinda cute don't you?) doesn't necessarily make it look less like a pig. I'm trying to change that though because I think that how I feel about how I look certainly impacts my mood and overall motivation to persevere.
Ok, here are the pics I'm trying to choose between. The first one is me obviously (just didn't want you confusing me with jodie foster, martina mcbride or jennifer aniston). Comment below and let me know who I should be on Tuesday!
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