Where the Helicopter is Super Squared?

No, thankfully I'm not recuperating from "the swine" which is now my #1 feared way of dying. I mean, how horrible would it be to die of the pig flu after spending your entire life battling obesity? I know it isn't a joking matter, but I'm not entirely joking when it comes to this lol.

First of all, I want to THANK so many of you who have been checking in on me. I am feeling completely unworthy of your dedication to my efforts. I actually got sick AGAIN. Seriously, I've never had so much illness in such a short time span. Someone told me that it could be that the fat cells I'm burning or releasing stored toxins making me sick? I don't know what it is, but it's really cramping my style.

I did have my stress test last Thursday though. Obviously I didn't keel over during that either. The best part of all was that I got to do it naked from the waist up in nothing but a paper superman cape! I know, I know...now you are ALL going to want and do it too aren't you?? I actually started out in a paper bolero jacket, but since it was sized for a regular sized person, as soon as I put my arms in it and tried to assume a normal position, it burst open at the seams like I was turning into the Hulk or something and became a much more fashionable superman cape; and let me tell ya...I was feeling pretty darn SUPER! I was thankful that the guy doing the heart ultrasound was neither a perky cheerleader OR extremely gorgeous. Nobody wants either one of THEM prodding your pudgy parts and moving breastages here and there to get to your thumper. I think he may have even been gay. I honestly think feeling me up most likely re-affirmed his decision to bat for the other team; either that or gave him plenty of nightmares for weeks following. He was nice about it though although I wanted to laugh every time he looked at me with a squinty pained expression and announced "I'm going to have to touch your breast now is that ok?" I told him it was fine as long as he didn't get that jelly on my superman cape.

Luckily, I was able to wear my shirt and bra for the actual stress test. I shudder to think what it would have looked like to have to do it topless. Thankfully, we were all spared that. I don't really have any solid information from the test but expect to hear back from the dr shortly. I think I may have an appointment with him on the 14th. The good thing is that I had some of those crazy heart things happen while I was there and she said they were normal. They are PVC's or PVT's or something like that. They usually happen to everyone, but I'm one of the few that actually feels them, lucky me!

The main thing I'm hoping to get more information about is the crushing throat feeling I get periodically. I don't know if this is related to my blood pressure or what, but it is SO uncomfortable when it happens and just a teensy bit scary. It almost feels as if someone has their hand lightly placed against my throat. My voice even changes a bit, gets more hoarse and "weird" sounding. I don't know if this will tell them what that is, but I will get a specific exercise program based on the stress test which should be interesting.

Other good news in the Super Squared Universe is that the YMCA pool is open! It's swimsuit season public style, just what every fatso looks forward to lol. I really don't care though...I mean, it isn't like I'm going there to pick up anyone. I'm hoping to take Tanner with me today and as much as I can this week. I had planned to go yesterday, but got had a headache that got worse as the day progressed. I probably could have still tried to go, but was paranoid that the sun would make it worse (overheating tends to trigger migraines for me). I honestly feel like I get a better workout at this pool and it's nice to do something fun with Tanner since I'm currently so limited.

Oh! And I had one goofy little NSA (is that what it's called? not referring to Nick shaped Angel here). I don't know what NSA stands for, but I think it refers to one of those "Aha! I'm skinnier moments" that surprises us now and then. Anyway, I had one the other day putting on my bra. Now this is embarrassing to admit, but it had started to get challenging to put my bra on. I either had to hook it at the front and then twist it around (causing a lovely red ring of "bra burn" if I was in too much of a hurry) OR I had to put it on and then lean one elbow up against a wall so that both hands could meet behind me to hook it that way. The other day, I was actually able to put it on and reach behind me to hook it up!!!! No fancy finagling necessary!!! I know..pretty lame, but it gave me a tiny little burst of happiness.

So, whats the "plan" for this week? Try to get back on track with my eating. I've not been doing so great honestly and I'm still hesitant to weigh myself :S I'm also hoping to get to the pool at least a few times this week and I may even give the treadmill another try. I'm feeling a bit lighter (not having so much trouble walking and when I wake up in the morning, I can walk so much easier) on my feet so I think its worth a shot.

I promise to also blog at least a few times this week just to keep me honest. Thanks again for all the SUPER support and well wishes!

Hugs from Super Squared!

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