Hi, me again. Bet you thought yesterday was another empty promise didn't you? Nope, I'm here and that picture up there? That would be part of today's confessional. Apparently my moment by moment 'tude failed me on my trip to CVS yesterday. Yep, all that crap in the picture, I bought on a binge.
I had to go to CVS to pick up some stuff that Erik absolutely refuses to buy for me (yes girlie products) and I made the mistake of not eating beforehand. As a matter of fact, I hadn't eaten since breakfast. I dropped Tanner off at Church with his "Big Brother" and ran to CVS. While I was there, I obviously got a craving or two and just went nuts (pardon the pun). I'll set the scene for you though, because it shows just how RIDICULOUS this compulsion is....
I arrive at CVS and immediately start thinking about going down the candy aisle once inside. I know I'm going for pads, but I can almost SMELL the chocolate. Immediately, a Nick-Shaped Angel (NSA for short...its his "gangsta" name...Nick is my own personal life coach... I refer to him every once in a while because he deserves the shout out xx) pops up on one side and says:
"Michelle, you've been working so hard! Think about your goals, think about how far you've come! Don't do this, you can move past it!"
About then, a very FAT looking demon, looking much like your's truly pops up, pushes NSA rudely aside and declares in a voice Linda Blair would be proud of:
"What the helicopter does he know? Every hormone in his body isn't SCREAMING for chocolate now is it? Oh yeah, it's real easy to flitter and flutter away over there when you have those pretty little wings and the sparkling little halo over your head. Let's see how far you'd get if we shot you full of estrogen, weighed you down with 400 lb sandbags and then put you smack dab in the middle of a candy aisle!"
Sparkling with the silvery light of healthy living, NSA whips his halo off and flings it violently at the Fat demon, wedging it between her bloated lips effectively shutting her up long enough to say:
"Don't listen to her Michelle, she doesn't want you to ever find that sexy Scotsman we know is out there just waiting to sweep you off your feet! He's never going to find your feet much less sweep you off them if you give in to her!"
It went on like this for 5-10 minutes as I huffed and puffed through CVS looking for the inedible products. Seriously, it was like a war between good and evil and the fact that I was breaking a sweat and already feeling an aching back and legs after 5 minutes of this less than vigorous activity did NOTHING to make me think twice about visiting that candy aisle. I mean....I obviously gave in because you see the booty there. I think the fat demon eventually sat on NSA because his sweet voice died out and I headed to the snack/candy aisle and loaded up.
It wasn't a conscious thing, but when I looked at it all together, I noticed all the nuts and peanut butter snacks...whats up with that? Maybe I should have given into that reeses egg craving during Easter.
As I walked up to the register, I start trying to think about how I'm going to look buying two packages of sanitary pads and all this chocolate. Even the humilation of making that kind of purchase didn't dissuade me though.
So, I came home...ate half a can of cashews and some of those reeses clusters (whatever they were) and a heath bar and was extremely ill for the rest of the evening. This morning, I dug my stash out of the hiding place in my room and took it to my ex husband to finish off or throw away. He stood guard while I arranged the booty for the picture and then loaded it all back into the grocery bag and hid it from me. Hopefully he'll gain the 10 lbs I might have if I had finished it all (totally kidding Erik).
Tanner came home from school and we promised each other that tomorrow we were going to do as much of the biggest loser workout video as we could. I tried to talk him into doing it today while I got dinner started, but he didn't want to do it without me and then he fell asleep on me after dinner :(.
So, we'll see what tomorrow brings :)