My Progress!

Monday, April 27, 2009

Sometimes You Feel Like a Nut.....

Hi, me again. Bet you thought yesterday was another empty promise didn't you? Nope, I'm here and that picture up there? That would be part of today's confessional. Apparently my moment by moment 'tude failed me on my trip to CVS yesterday. Yep, all that crap in the picture, I bought on a binge.

I had to go to CVS to pick up some stuff that Erik absolutely refuses to buy for me (yes girlie products) and I made the mistake of not eating beforehand. As a matter of fact, I hadn't eaten since breakfast. I dropped Tanner off at Church with his "Big Brother" and ran to CVS. While I was there, I obviously got a craving or two and just went nuts (pardon the pun). I'll set the scene for you though, because it shows just how RIDICULOUS this compulsion is....

I arrive at CVS and immediately start thinking about going down the candy aisle once inside. I know I'm going for pads, but I can almost SMELL the chocolate. Immediately, a Nick-Shaped Angel (NSA for short...its his "gangsta" name...Nick is my own personal life coach... I refer to him every once in a while because he deserves the shout out xx) pops up on one side and says:

"Michelle, you've been working so hard! Think about your goals, think about how far you've come! Don't do this, you can move past it!"

About then, a very FAT looking demon, looking much like your's truly pops up, pushes NSA rudely aside and declares in a voice Linda Blair would be proud of:

"What the helicopter does he know? Every hormone in his body isn't SCREAMING for chocolate now is it? Oh yeah, it's real easy to flitter and flutter away over there when you have those pretty little wings and the sparkling little halo over your head. Let's see how far you'd get if we shot you full of estrogen, weighed you down with 400 lb sandbags and then put you smack dab in the middle of a candy aisle!"

Sparkling with the silvery light of healthy living, NSA whips his halo off and flings it violently at the Fat demon, wedging it between her bloated lips effectively shutting her up long enough to say:

"Don't listen to her Michelle, she doesn't want you to ever find that sexy Scotsman we know is out there just waiting to sweep you off your feet! He's never going to find your feet much less sweep you off them if you give in to her!"

It went on like this for 5-10 minutes as I huffed and puffed through CVS looking for the inedible products. Seriously, it was like a war between good and evil and the fact that I was breaking a sweat and already feeling an aching back and legs after 5 minutes of this less than vigorous activity did NOTHING to make me think twice about visiting that candy aisle. I mean....I obviously gave in because you see the booty there. I think the fat demon eventually sat on NSA because his sweet voice died out and I headed to the snack/candy aisle and loaded up.

It wasn't a conscious thing, but when I looked at it all together, I noticed all the nuts and peanut butter snacks...whats up with that? Maybe I should have given into that reeses egg craving during Easter.

As I walked up to the register, I start trying to think about how I'm going to look buying two packages of sanitary pads and all this chocolate. Even the humilation of making that kind of purchase didn't dissuade me though.

So, I came home...ate half a can of cashews and some of those reeses clusters (whatever they were) and a heath bar and was extremely ill for the rest of the evening. This morning, I dug my stash out of the hiding place in my room and took it to my ex husband to finish off or throw away. He stood guard while I arranged the booty for the picture and then loaded it all back into the grocery bag and hid it from me. Hopefully he'll gain the 10 lbs I might have if I had finished it all (totally kidding Erik).

Tanner came home from school and we promised each other that tomorrow we were going to do as much of the biggest loser workout video as we could. I tried to talk him into doing it today while I got dinner started, but he didn't want to do it without me and then he fell asleep on me after dinner :(.

So, we'll see what tomorrow brings :)


that TOPS lady said...

I give you credit for owning up to it. I don't know what it is about nuts, but I crave them too. Nuts, cheese and granola bars. fooey.

Val said...

Ugh when Aunt Flo comes visiting, I can seriously eat some salty sweets. I totally feel your pain.
And you're awesome for turning it into a blogging opportunity! Tomorrow's another day. GOOD LUCK!!! :D

wildfluffysheep said...

At least you're not kidding yourself and are holding yourself accountable. Chin up, put it in the past and move on :D Move on to your biggest loser moves!

Becky said...

I can relate to this. At least you owned up. Not only that, you didn't eat it all, that's a huge step!

Laurie said...

Yep, owning up to it and not hiding in shame is a big step that shouldn't be taken lightly!!
We all get those mad craving when our hormones take over. Getting rid of the contraband is a huge step as well! :)

Hope you're feeling better! :)

Chubby Chick said...

I had a major Reese's Peanut Butter Cup and Hershey's Kisses binge a few weeks ago. It lasted an entire week... and the first day back on track was definitely the hardest. I'm just glad that it didn't turn into a month-long binge... or more.

So... this binge is in the past. Forget about it... and move forward! :)

FranticMommy said...

Good job and getting rid of the booty the next day. I just HAD to have Chinese Food yesterday and ended up with a gut ache and the grizzlies the rest of the day. A good lesson for me. I'm "over" Chinese food for a long time now. Sometimes the best lessons are learned the hard way!

Chai Latté said...

Ooof. I empathize!

I did the same thing with some danish at the grocery store. It is AMAZING how impossible it is to stop yourself when binging. I've NEVER successfully avoided a binge.

SeaShore said...

Hope you're doing better today. I had a chummy time with the chocolate monster at Easter. It's hard to get under control! Good luck.

Anonymous said...

It's been a while since you last posted. I've enjoyed reading your entries and getting to know you a bit. I hope you're doing well and I hope you post more soon.


Megan said...

We miss you. I've read your whole blog and am wondering how you're doing? Come on back when you're ready!

TeresaLynn said...

Oh, I had the same discussion with myself about a jar of Nutella a week or so ago. Bought it. Ate it. And now I probably won't need that again for at least a year.

Love your blog, BTW!