Half Way to Goal, Dropping Out and other changes

Hi guys, yes I have been very absent, but I have been very overwhelmed as well. I think I just decided to withdraw from school for the time being. I’m not so mad or disappointed about that, I just hate that it was an expensive lesson for me to learn. I’ve been so overwhelmed trying to work the same amount of hours (because Erik quit his day job) AND study AND be a mom AND …have a social life to some degree and it just isn’t working. Right now we don’t have a penny until Erik gets paid Friday and I know his check is going to be pretty paltry because he’s had to miss a few days when I had my lab along with some other days when Tanner was just having a bad day.

That’s the other issue…Tanner hasn’t adjusted all that well to all the change since we started school. All the days Erik has had to stay home, our evening routine disturbed because I’m always studying now. Both of us short of temper because we are both spread too thin (some of us more than others), etc. He’s had some outbursts at school that we haven’t seen in a while and his attitude at home has kind of started to suck as well. Yesterday though he cracked me up… I was on the phone with a friend and he was in his room playing his wii when his dad made his nightly phone call to touch base with him and say goodnight. Tanner missed the call, but was apparently VERY annoyed that Erik was calling. The next thing I know I hear Tanner saying:

“Dad! I was playing my game and you were CALLING and FREAKING DISTURBING ME! …ok I love you goodbye”

The first part was said in the snottiest voice I’ve ever heard him use and the final statement “ok I love you goodbye” as if the former hadn’t happened at all LOL. While I’m reaming Tanner a new one and insisting that he turn the game off and call his dad to apologize, I get the following text from Erik:

“Omg, I have to play Tans voicemail for you. Kid cracks me up!”

Apparently he thought Tanner was joking, but even when he found out he wasn’t, he still thought it was funny. Not to Tanner’s face of course, but behind his back, we played the voicemail a few times and got a good laugh out of it. Like I said in my facebook status: “Sometimes you have to laugh so they can make it to the ripe old age of 18.”

One thing that happened in the last week is that I hit my HALF WAY TO GOAL MARK!! I hit 312 last Friday and I’ve been hovering there ever since! I have been exercising more and stared P90, but that has been off and on as well, often taking a backseat to my studies. I definitely plan to get back with the program if I do decide to drop my classes (which has all pretty much been decided at this point). I can’t believe I have 12 more pounds to lose to get under 300 lbs for the first time since Tanner was born back in 1995. As a matter of fact, 312 was the weight I was at WHEN I entered the hospital to have Tanner, so this is a milestone in more ways than one really. I remembered when I was between 440 and 465 thinking it was ridiculous that I fantasized about weighing what I weighed when I was pregnant. I mean, who does that?

Other than being extremely stressed out, I’ve been feeling great. I’ve been getting out and actually had a lovely evening out for dinner Friday night ;) And that’s all I’m going to say about that!

Thanks for hanging in there with me even though I’ve been horrible about updating as of late. I would imagine that will change. I’ve been sorting through a LOT in my head the last week or so and I expect to do quite a bit of my typical “blogging it out” over the next week.