Actual transcript of conversation that occurred between Tanner and I this week:
Tanner: When you get skinny…?
(this has become a regular topic of conversation lately…we enjoy talking about the sort of things we are going to do as I lose weight and get healthier)
Tanner: Can we go on a Bigfoot hunt?
(this, however, is the first time he’s proposed this sort of activity)
Me: Uhh, yeahhhhhh….No. That sounds like the perfect activity for you and your dad though.
(I blame Erik for letting him watch all those crap conspiracy shows, ghost hunter shows, etc. As I write this they are watching Destination Truth. This particular episode is about the Chupacabra, so I suspect he may propose a Chupacabra hunt at some point in the next few days)
Tanner: (waiting for a few moments) Uhh mom?
Me: Yeah sweetie?
Tanner: Why not?
Me: Sigh…because that just isn’t my sort of thing honey, I think Dad would have more fun doing that.
(a few minutes pass by as he sits behind me as I sort out my office)
Tanner: What about if we go hunting aliens?
Me: Nah, I don’t think that’s my cup of tea either.
Tanner: What are you talking about? I thought you liked aliens?
Me: Oh I LOVE aliens, but I’m just not the sort of person to go hunting them down.
(Tanner’s face drops immediately and then in a defeated voice)
Tanner: I can’t believe you mom! I thought you were a science genius! :(
I guess, no matter how awesomely gifted your parents are, we are just destined to disappoint our kids at some point. I did feel bad, but I do have many other things I’m looking forward to as I get this weight off. We’ve talked about going to the county fair, visiting SeaWorld, Fiesta Texas, Disney World. Taking vacations, buying bikes and riding after he gets home from school. Those are just a few of the things we’ve discussed.
I also realized the other day that I am actually enjoying the seasons as they change. It just kind of hit me as I sat there. I was looking forward to Fall, Halloween, Thanksgiving, Christmas. It kind of surprised me because I hadn’t realized that, in the last several years, I hadn’t really looked forward to these things. Why? Because, when you are stuck in your house, changing seasons…special seasonal activities…parties, etc. All those things really cease to exist. When you don’t leave your house for weeks at a time, what does it matter if the weather cools off or if the trees start to turn different shades? Who cares if so-and-so is having a cool Halloween party or if the family is getting together for Thanksgiving? Every day is just like the last no matter what time of year it is.
It isn’t that I didn’t KNOW my weight was having this effect on my quality of life, but it just hit me like a ton of bricks how much my perspective has changed since losing some weight. Not only that, but for the first time in a very long time, actually BELIEVING that I’m going to get the rest of it off. It is as if I’ve been living in a beige world for the last 10 years and slowly things are coming into Technicolor focus. As all of this slowly dawned on me, I realized I was smiling. Smiling is good.