I was quite a busy girl this weekend. I went to TWO, (yep, count ‘em TWO) parties! I don’t really know what was more fun, going to the parties or getting ready for the parties. I’m still dipping into new clothes in my closet and finding that most are almost too big for me. I’ll pull something out, look at the size and think…hmm, this probably won’t fit, but I try it on and it does; with room to spare usually.
Last year I had invitations to various get-togethers and gatherings, but I bailed on all of them mainly because I was too embarrassed to see people, many of which who hadn’t seen me since my mother’s funeral. Some I hadn’t seen in even more years. Although I wasn’t much bigger than I had been at my mother’s funeral, my mobility and strength was much much less and you all know that I had a big problem with letting people see me at my weakest.
This year, I didn’t think twice about whether or not I’d attend the events I’d been invited to. I didn’t spend the weeks leading up to the events wondering if there were going to be chairs that could accommodate my weight or worrying about being the fattest person there. I probably still WAS the fattest person at both events, but in relation to the rest of the world, I’m kind of just your average fat girl now and that totally rocks!
The first event we went to was a Deaf fellowship party given by the church that Tanner’s big brother preaches at. Last year, he picked Tanner up and brought him home (because I “couldn’t” make it), but this year, he was just too busy. I had to work late, but I used my last 30 minutes to get my makeup on and once I was off, slipped on some new clothes and we were on our way. I’m including a few pictures from the event, but they were taken with my phone which makes me look about 50 lbs fatter, washes out all my makeup and otherwise makes me look like a pasty toad, but there you go.
When we got there, I walked in with confidence and didn’t once try to scan the room to see if anyone was noticing the fat lady arriving. No children stared in fascination and horror. Adults didn’t treat me like I was invisible. It was amazing to just enjoy being with other people, participating in the events at the party and just having a great time in general with Tanner.
The next night, I attended an old friend’s birthday party. We have known each other since middle school and our mothers actually worked together for several years. We reconnected a year or two ago and she has absolutely been one of my biggest (local) cheerleaders and such a great source of support. We don’t get to get together much because she has two very busy children, work, etc so I was looking forward to seeing her again.
I’ll admit, I was kind of nervous about going because Belinda and her daughter (and mom) were probably the only people I would know there, but I refused to let myself talk myself out of going for that reason. Once again, I enjoyed doing my hair and taking time with my makeup, I even wore fake eyelashes, the whole time imagining I was the most popular cast member of The Real Housewives of San Antonio (because, ya know its in the contract that you have to wear falsies to be on that show). Unfortunately, the falsies I got were the same length as my own lashes so they really didn’t do much for me. Next time I’m going to go super glam! I was just worried about looking like Mimi or Ms. Piggy if I went too long. I got dressed and made Erik take pictures of me and he joked that he has to take pictures of me every day I wear something new, which is kinda true, but it’s so fun to look at them afterwards because you see yourself so much differently in a picture vs. the mirror and I’m starting to like what I see staring back at me from both!
I left and on my way had to call Shannon, just to tell her how pretty I looked. She demanded that I take a pic with my phone and send it to her so when I stopped at CVS I asked the cashier to take one of me. Of course he looked at me like I’d lost my mind, but what was he going to say? Apparently my phone was too complicated for him because he somehow started using the movie feature instead and by then people were walking into the store and I didn’t want to be the idiot smiling for the cashier. So, I grabbed my phone from the wanna-be Martin Scorsese and thanked him for his efforts.
Prior to leaving my house, I realized that I couldn’t access facebook which is where Belinda’s new address was, but lucky for me I’m a master cyber stalker. I had managed to locate a record for her husband and whammo! Found their address. Of course, I couldn’t hide my lovely falsies behind a pair of glasses so I left them behind making reading street signs a real challenge, but somehow I made it to her house. I honestly had no idea if it was the right house; I just went to the building with the most cars in front of it and prayed it was the right place (I couldn’t see any house numbers). I got Lucky! It was the right house and before I knew it, I was inside chatting with Belinda’s mom, saying hi to her brother who I hadn’t seen since high school and ultimately making some new friends with some people from where Belinda works. Her house was beautiful and she had a spread like you would not believe…this girl knows how to throw a shindig! Her kids were adorable and her husband was a real sweetheart. I thoroughly enjoyed myself and was so glad that I went, thanks for inviting me Belinda!!
Monday, December 13, 2010
Posted by My Big Fat Super Super Obese Blog at 8:07 PM