My Progress!

Sunday, April 5, 2009

Accosted by Asian Greaser Gang of Preschoolers at my local Catholic High School

Ok, yesterday did not turn out all that great. I gave into the cake craving, but not the reese's cup craving and after Erik forced me to watch several food network shows in succession, I was overwhelmed by a craving for hamburgers which I also gave in to. As punishment, I was forced to live through the following night of non stop dreams about the following:

I was "vacationing" in some unknown part of Texas, probably Dallas...It was a big city...and decided that I wanted to go work out (probably guilt over this past week gnawing at me) so I headed on down to Urseline Academy, which is an older (closed now) Catholic High School in San Antonio. I know I said I was in Dallas, but for some reason, thats where I went to work out. I got there very early in the morning and met some girl as I walked into the building and decided to walk with her.

As we got inside, I was overwhelmed by all the limestone dust in the air, it was like a super thick fog and I asked her how she could possibly work out in that as it didnt' seem all that healthy for the lungs. She took me up a flight of stairs to an outdoor track (why was it upstairs? I don't know, it's a dream). When we got out there, there were all of these gigantic air mattresses with all these super obese people doing crunches on them. I was excited because it meant that I could do crunches too as I wouldn't have to worry about how I was going to haul my large excess off the floor.

Before I could grab a mattress, I noticed a few players from the Lakers were practicing for their next game on a basketball court nearby. I don't watch basketball really, I'm not a fan of the lakers and although I wasn't all that impressed, I went over to say hi. About that time I noticed that I was in my sparkly black swimsuit and was mortified. Fortunately, the Laker dude thought I was the shiznit and asked me out. As flattered as I was that he would want to take me out in my sparkly swimsuit, I had to decline because Erik was waiting for me back at hour hotel room.

I finished my workout, but before I could leave, these nuns arrived and told me that I had to run an open house for their new semester of preschool since I used their place for my workout. I didn't want to, but the nuns weren't having any of it.

Turns out, all the preschoolers were Asian Greaser (as in West Side Story, Danny and Sandy Greasers) Teenagers (I know...Teenage Preschoolers???...its a dream). They ended up kicking my ass and stealing my keys and gym shoes. I finally got everything back when I stole their mother's purses and held them for ransom for my keys.

Interpretation please?


kel said...

Visiting from SITS... I think I love you... lol... that was hilarious! Love your blog!!!

Erik said...

Uh, I believe that means, YOUR CRAZY!

Pam said...

Wow, that was some dream. My interpretation... you are feeling overwhelmed by the "stuff" in your life and you feel guilty that you dealt with it by straying from your diet. ????

fatfighter said...

Hmmm... no idea what that means, but thanks for sharing! :)

Lexley said...

i agree with erik! you is crazy!

Carlos said...

maybe you are hungry for some General Tso?