My Progress!

Friday, January 22, 2010

Saw my surgeon today


I was too lazy to look for a picture to go with this post, so I thought I'd post the one above. Since Erik has started working two jobs, I've taken back a lot of the Tanner duty and realized that Erik was pretty much spoiling this kid rotten. We only have at least 4 good years left with this kiddo (who am I kidding? he's probably going to live with us until he's old enough to change OUR diapers), so I've been "encouraging" him (tanner) to take on more responsibility around the house. Sometimes (not often) he is surprisingly agreeable in helping out around the house. Other times, it is literally like pulling teeth to get him to do the smallest thing. Last night, his chore (yes, singular...we are starting off small) was to empty the dishwasher. It wasn't very full to begin with, but Tanner wanted to go play his new video game. When he saw that full refusal wasn't going to work, he started bargaining with me:

Tanner: "What about if I do the top and daddy does the bottom?"
Me: "How about if you do the top AND the bottom?"
Tanner: "Moooooom! Why do you always FORCE ME?"
Me: "Because I enjoy it and you won't do it willingly...quit complaining and just do it"
Tanner: "When I get my own apartment I never going to do the dishes!"
Me: "ok, well as long as you never ask me over for dinner, that will be fine"
*lots of banging and loud cabinet closing in the background*

He finally finishes and comes back to the living room with a scowl on his face. I mimic his scowl and soon have him laughing in spite of himself. Of course I didn't go check his work and later today Erik said

"Did Tanner empty the dishwasher last night?"
Me: "yeah, why?"
Erik: "Go take a look at the utensil drawer"

I just burst out laughing and grabbed my camera. I don't know why, but the picture cracks me up even more. Hopefully you guys see the humor in it as well.

I also wanted to add...I will still be talking about Erik and Tanner, but I just won't be discussing tgt (those of you who have been following me will know what that means) or intimate details about Tanner's challenges. I haven't gotten around to cleansing the blog of all references to tgt or the blogs detailing some of our challenges with Tanner's most recent school placement, etc, but hope to finish it up before my surgery.

So, for those of you who like hearing about our family shenanigans, fear not...I'll be sharing more on them from time to time. Ok, now on to the good stuff!

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Hi again. I saw the surgeon today and it went pretty well. I had a minor heart attack at the outset because I misunderstood what they said about my insurance benefits and I thought that they were telling me that my insurance wasn’t going to pay for the sleeve gastrectomy. If you’ll recall, this is what stalled my last efforts to get bariatric surgery. Turns out that it looks like they will approve it. Now I’m just hoping that they won’t make me go through the 6 months of nutritional counseling again.

I don’t know what the deal was, but my knees were KILLING me today! I think it was God’s way of reminding me that backing out of this is absolutely not an option anymore. They had to do another EKG which is always fun because they make you get naked from the waist up. Again, I think God thought that if the knees didn’t do the trick, then making me don another superman cape braless would cinch the deal. Luckily, these capes were super sized so they actually did help cover up my most private parts. Usually, my primary care doc insists on forcing me to wear one of his superman capes…you know…the kind that were made for women under 30 who are still a size 8 and have lovely perky breasts that stay easily hidden under the paper fabric. On me, the same capes look like I drug my ugly poncho from the first grade out of the closet and tried it on. It may have hung to my waist in first grade, but now I’m lucky if it covers just past the shoulders which leaves my poor yo-yo-dieted, child-havin’, 40-year-old ta-tas swingin’ in the breeze. Trust me, it is NOT a good look.

Let me tell ya, the adhesive on those electrode thingys was EFFECTIVE. Those electrodes weren’t going ANYWHERE! As a matter of fact, as she started to remove them, I asked her if she could maybe attach a few to my upper lip and eyebrows and save me a trip to the salon for a wax…seriously, I don’t think I’ll be growing hair in those little patches for quite some time!

I finally got to see my doctor and we kind of went back over my history. I really like him, he’s matter of fact, doesn’t pull any punches, but is compassionate as well. He told me that he thinks the sleeve is completely doable laparoscopically, but he wants me to have a few more tests (upper endoscopy, cardio, psych eval, fitness appointment) and lose at least 35 lbs beforehand. I can probably do all of this over the next month if I really hunker down and focus on this. I got some meal replacement stuff from them and will basically be following the diet they normally ask people to do two weeks before surgery. I’ll have a shake for breakfast and lunch and then a light dinner (consisting of a protein source and non carb veggies). I’m also going to continue doing my 5 minute walks three times a day and try to work myself up to at least 15 minutes before surgery.

One good thing I discovered is that while the bariatric center closed down, they still have the fitness center there. It is only about $15.00 a month, so I’m going to contact the fitness coordinator about going back. I think getting back in the pool will help me get some strength back without overtaxing my bones and joints. As I get some weight off, it should start getting easier.

My own personal goal is to have 50 lbs off by surgery. That will get me under 400 lbs and should give my doctor plenty of room to work when he goes in to work his magic.

I won’t lie…I’m nervous. I’m not really scared of the life changes I’ll be forced to make when 60% of my stomach is removed or the pain I might experience. I’m scared to death that I’m going to die on the operating table and leave Tanner to cope with not having me here anymore. He’s already been through so much and I’ve watched him mourn my mom. It breaks my heart to imagine him mourning me.

What I keep trying to focus on is that if I DON’T have this surgery, it is just as likely that I’m going to die of some obesity-related problem in the next few years. So, it is either bite the bullet and take my chances now with the likelihood of being able to have many many more years with Tanner or not having the surgery and dying anyway in the next few years. I think I’ll take my chances.

4 Comments:

cmoursler said...

oh hon, Usually I don't think surgery is the answer...but in your case I do.
I want you to be healthy and you want to be healthy...that is so cool that they have something for you.
I know you can do that surgery and lose the weight before hand.
Anybody who is stubborn enough to skip the cart at the store and take a chair just to make sure you don't become dependant, is tough enough to drop some pounds before the big day.
I wish you luck.
I left you an award on my blog, I can think of anyone who deserves it more.

Wenny Yap said...

It's only natural to worry but visualise and focus on how things will turn for the better when it's over. Visualize Erik and Tanner's welcoming embraces when you're out of surgery. It'll help.

All my best wishes and definitely waiting to hear more of your family's shenanigans.

Diana said...

I love what Tanner did to the utensil drawer. Too funny!

I know you must be scared about the surgery. Any surgery is scary, but like you said, do you really have a choice? I almost think the surgery is safer than if you don't do and then get a serious illness because of the weight. I think if I was you, I'd probably opt for the surgery.

I can't believe you're going to have it so soon. Don't these things usually take months to get scheduled? Anyway, buckle down, lose that 35 or 50 pounds, and then you'll be on your way to a new life. I can't wait to see you as you change and emerge into that butterfly. :)

jodikris said...

HI....I just found your blog and I wanted to tell you about my experience. I out ate the gastric bypass. Yes you read that right. I have lost 100 lbs on my own in the last year. I am at the lowest weight of my adult life now strictly due to diet and exercise. I just wanted to offer support. I was well over 400 lbs when I had the GB. I wish someone had kinda given me a heads up that WLS is a tool and can be used well and then not used so well. I did get a considerable amount of weight off but I could have gotten way way more off had I not had "food issues" as I like to call them. Good luck to you and do exactly what the doctors tell you and I am sure you will have a great outcome!

I really like your blog...you are really honest and I love that!