<--NOT ME(this will make sense later though.) We actually had a great time. I got to get out of the house and visit with another person FACE TO FACE!!! How amazing is that? I did have moments where I was struggling a bit, but I noticed that most people were way busier with their own lives to bother gawking at me so I actually enjoyed myself. When I came home, I noticed that I was in a great mood too! I think it was more than just "getting out" though. I think when I allow myself to stay cooped up, doing nothing but working, sleeping, taking care of T and literally never leaving the house it adds to my depression because it makes me feel like such a failure. Who wants to live their entire life within the confines of their home, no matter how great it might be? It truly is like imprisoning yourself.
When I took the plunge and got ready, putting on make-up for the first time in MONTHS, and actually got out in the sunshine and around other people, it had such an effect on me. Incidentally, when T and E got home yesterday from getting haircuts and saw me all prettified and made up, T said "Wow Mom! Where'd you get all that makeup? You look like a Goddess" Only he said "Goddess" with almost as much disdain as "Harlot" so I think he might might have had a communication breakdown in his word choice because I don't think he meant it as a compliment :( I had to go check in the mirror to see if I had overdone it at all. Even E said that I looked "so different" and he didn't remember me having so much "dark" around my eyes lmao. I was like "uhhh, its called eyeliner and this is how I've done my makeup for the 20 years we've known each other?"
Anyway *rolls eyes*, I took some BEFORE pics that I will post tomorrow with all the other before pics I've taken over the last decade so you can tell me if I look like a harlot or not. I'm really hoping that it was just because they hadn't seen me in makeup for so long. I'd hate to think that my makeup skillz are already outdated; perhaps I should send back that book "Mimi's Makeovers" I got for Christmas?
So, I'm contemplating heading to the Y tomorrow to see if I can get a trainer to start me out on a program no matter how measly it might be at this point. I want to take Tanner tomorrow afternoon as well and see if they can get him started. He's killing me with wanting fast food all the time, but it's my fault I suppose. I'm hoping getting him more active in the local Y will motivate him to commit to our new healthy lifestyle.
So, tune in tomorrow for some pics of me starting with my skinniest adult pics. Trust me, you are going to want to tune in just to laugh at my hair. What I lost in weight I made up for in hair product. I'm from Texas, It was the early 90's....enough said.
Unfortunately, also NOT ME but a great example of Texas Hair.(that's for you nick ;)
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Sunday, March 1, 2009
Posted by My Big Fat Super Super Obese Blog at 11:17 AM